An interesting take on the flowers. The most interesting part of this, I thought, was having prostitutes wear the flowers of innocence. That's just... wrong. I mean, if the flowers affect them, then what's the point where they become children? Go to Comment
The basic premise is solid, if a bit familiar. The specific mechanic by which this plant eats people is interesting, but I'm not sure I like the degree of perception required for "trap people, then call monsters." I might like to see a rework of that part if this were to be revisited.
Sorta disagree with Shadoweagle - this one is just a bit too open-ended for me. I feel like I would need more details before this would really spark my imagination into something interesting - as is, it's not much more than a horror movie monster.
Maybe 100 Word Submissions just aren't really for me.
It could, I suppose make a pretty solid session for a horror game. In that way, I like it - very less is more. Go to Comment
Not flashy, but certainly the sort of thing we'd probably see in mech-based warfare. The cynic in me wants to say, "Jeeps? Motorcycles?" but I try not to listen to him.
I am a bit curious as to why you say that an ostrich replacement is "not in the cards." If they're so ubiquitous, you'd think that everyone would want that contract.
And finally, I have no idea on what, if any, actual interactions occur between lions and ostriches, but your line "The Ostrich line there produces the lion's share of Ostriches in service." made me chuckle wondering about it. Go to Comment
I really like how you've turned the Christmas stuff into a menacing fantasy location. The imagery is great, and there's a lot of stuff about this post that's just neat - ghost bears, collecting children, the Eternal Flames... and so on. It all reads very well.
I have some concern for how well this would actually work in play - it just seems a little too out of the way, though the Lord's travels make it easier to bring him in.
I kind of agree with axlerowes - this reads a lot like a description of a boss fight. It sounds very interesting and exciting, and definite points for that, but it's lacking in context. I feel like there's a lot that makes this guy important that I don't get from this submission. I think that the Glacier of Doom, for example, could very easily merit it's own submission, and improve this one by adding that context. Go to Comment
This is a good submission. The plot can be hooked into fairly easily, and there are a number of elements of momentary importance which could be adjusted to fit the scenario into a campaign. The setting helps to flavor things, but isn't critical, and the overall tale seems interesting.
My one problem is with the end. It's very abrupt. Rather, it's confusing in how it's supposed to tie together. I think an overview of the chain of events here would be very helpful. Go to Comment
Speaking as someone who is not a lover of alcohol, I agree with Muro about its appeal due to its exoticness, and have no real knowledge of camels for it to nag at.
That said, while this sub has the interesting and artistic bits, I don't know how actually useable it is. I suppose some adventures could capture a treasure trove of fermenting camel humps or something,
I think that this could most benefit from some sample plot hooks, but it's not bad at all like this. Go to Comment
This submission has a decent overview of a culture, but I have one major problem with it - it doesn't really connect together. It seems like a bunch of disparate elements just kind of stuck together. If farming is so difficult on this plain, then wouldn't it make more sense to be nomadic and follow the herd animals? But seemingly, farming is important to these people. If it is, go with that; don't feel compelled to weaken "farmers in hostile land" by saying "but they're mostly hunter-gatherers." Also, there's nothing here that distinguishes them as elves as opposed to humans or dwarves or any other people.
I think that there's a lot of potential in this submission, but you need to develop it a bit more to make that potential shine through. Go to Comment
Stands out to me as almost an organization or race magic item, rather than a unique one. You could have some sort of 'sinister' organization built around having these cloaks and the ability to see all around the world, or even farther.
Or perhaps the cloaks made by some ancient people, and now only used by this organization, who use them only for espionage, not fathoming some greater purpose.... Go to Comment
I think that this region would work well in a big sandbox sort of game. Players can just sort of blunder into the middle of things and run about wreaking havoc and having all sorts of effects on the outcome of the war. Or get involved on either side. Perhaps the most impressive result would be to achieve some form of reconciliation, but that might not be sp great for the rest of the world. I agree with Muro that it works well in it's simplicity.
I especially like the inclusion of characters of note, which really helps to show how complex this could potentially be made.
My one complaint is that, since you've included the divination and exotic mount free texts, I would have liked to see more detail on those two subjects. Go to Comment
My favorite part of this one is the box of flavor text at the beginning, but I think that the whole thing is good. There are a lot of ways that you could use this or that it could come up in a game. Finding it could be a very major event in a game, and really, I think that this is an item that could be quite legendary itself. Need to discover an ancient password? Where the secret entrance of some tomb is? This could be your golden ticket. Go to Comment
I'm a bit torn here. This is a really interesting plot, and I think that it could run pretty well in a game, but depending on how you work it, I think it could very possibly come out as a bit too much of a deus ex machina. I suppose that that's what it is, really. Anyway, it's got a bit of a Bill and Ted feel to it, which is neat. Go to Comment
This item is, to me, kind of a mixed bag. There are basically three parts to it, and I don't think that they entirely go together. What I mean is this:
First, the idea that the gods basically pay each other money in exchange for refusals and perhaps insults or whatever, a sort of divine recompense, I guess, is really neat. I love the idea that the god of death has a responsibility, and if he doesn't want to do it, he has to pay a price to another god, and also that the money used for such payments can end up in the hands of mortals. That's a cool idea.
Then you say that he pays the two coins which were used to get into the afterlife. The idea that the coins paid to get into the afterlife become magical is also a neat idea. But I feel that it lacks a certain degree of symbolism with the previous bit. If there's a connection between the money and why the death god is supposed to release the soul, then it makes sense why he's returning that specific money. But as is, it comes across as just being the money that he happens to have at hand, coincidentally the same amount, and that sort of robs the item of this interesting bit of background.
Finally, the actual thing that the item does. Sending people back in time to avoid their own death is an interesting idea, if a problematic one in an actual game scenario, I suspect. But again, I think it kind of lacks resonance with the rest of the bits. I don't think that dying and time share an inherent connection, so I think that this comes across as kind of a forced way to bring someone back to life.
In the end, I think that you have three good ideas here that are all kind of dangling off of each other, rather than firmly connected. Go to Comment