Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Snow Devil
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-03-28 08:19 PM
As a life form, I think this is a pretty nice entry. I think there are a lot of ways that such a monster could be brought into play, and it could definitely make for some interesting play. Definitely could be nice for a pseudo-horror scenario (you know, horror trappings, but more positive, maybe).

From a Monster-of-the-Week perspective, I am a little concerned about the... lack of connection between the three states of the monster. If it was just the old man and one of the other ones, it wouldn't be a problem, but I feel like having both the ghoul and the fiend might be bit tricky to manage. Maybe if there was bait more of a connection, like it has to be the ghoul until it accomplishes something, or it has to gradually work to bring down temperatures until it can safely take fiend-form.

But all said and done, I like it, and there's plenty here to work with. Go to Comment
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-03-28 10:31 PM
I confess I have a hard time commenting on this one - this kind of sci-fi is not so much my thing. There's something to be said for a psychic martial artist war mech, though, I suppose. And it could make a good looming destruction sort of enemy, I think. You recommend not fighting it, but it seems a little odd to create such a menace and then not involve it in combat.

The locusts are pretty horrifying - enough so that I almost feel that they would be better off as their own submission, with perhaps a link between the two. Go to Comment
The Nightmare Demons of Sorrow
Plots  (Mystical)   (Mini-Campaign)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-03-14 04:43 PM
The idea of demons which torment people in their sleep is a somewhat familiar one, but these guys have a more philosophical bent to them which is interesting. The demons themselves are certainly interesting.

I do think I would be inclined to extend the exorcism a bit more than in your example. That is, rather than calling out the demon so explicitly, I might prefer to make that bit into more of a mystery/clue hunt kind of thing. Go to Comment
The Town of Inexplicable Babies
Locations  (City)   (Any)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-02-15 08:25 PM
It's a fair criticism. What would you like to see added to fill it out? Go to Comment
The Belts of Parkour
Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-01-31 04:03 PM
This seems like the sort of thing I would be inclined to drop on a totally untrained group. You're caught in the trap? Oh, well, there's a belt down there. Better hope you don't kill yourself with it.

It could be kind of a neat super-hero gadget, too. Go to Comment
Variable-Frame Aerospace Fighter
Items  (SpaceShips)   (Combat)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-01-04 05:48 PM
This is an interesting post, and you do a good job explaining the systems of the craft, but I find it lacking a certain amount of gameability. There's nothing that really screams Use Me.

It's not bad, but I think this one could be better. Go to Comment
Ssacha a'Karliik
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-12-06 05:27 PM
Terrible pun, Cheka. :)

There's a lot of cool stuff you could do with this one. It can of course be a necromancer's implement easily enough, or you could have it more magic generic or even make it a cultural thing. Maybe when your father dies, or whatever, you keep his head in a bag for a few weeks. You could play on the old trope of the young adventurer with an animal or spirit or fairy guide - this guy has a head in a bag!

You could have a Necromancer who boasts exceptional power because he knows how to make shrunken heads, and can fit the heads of mighty creatures like giants or dragons in a bag.

I like it a lot. I could definitely imagine using this one. Go to Comment
Bahamoot
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Water)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-11-15 04:46 PM
I kinda like this one as one of those things you can go see 'because it's there.' Giant fish are pretty neat, and somewhat under-represented, but then I can kind of see why - even this one looks a little tricky to use.

Two thinks present themselves, outside of your suggested plot hooks: first, the story of Jonah. Imagine what could live inside such an enormous fish. You could have a whole city inside. People could make pilgrimages there. Second, I think of the Wind Fish, from Link's Awakening, especially with the dreaming. I don't know what you'd do with that, but there must be something. Go to Comment
The Clowns Gang
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (Area)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-10-11 08:17 AM
This is pretty horrific. I mean, in sort of a good way. I'm not sure these guys would fit into the sorts of games I tend to run, but at the very least, the post makes a good format for a gang write-up, and there are definite strong points to this one. Go to Comment
30 More Gladiators
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-07-29 07:06 PM
Excellent. Asides from being useful to populate an arena in a hurry,many of these could be the center-point of their own adventures. The Mascot in particular excites my imagination, but they're all useable and interesting.

Top marks. Go to Comment
Marilanth Flower
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-05-10 08:35 PM
Ooh, I like it. Definitely an interesting poison, and one which I could definitely see seeing some use in a game.

There are no doubt a lot of plot hooks you can get from here, but I would like to see some actually listed out. I think a few good one's would really help this sub out.

You know, this could be a perfect justification for a unicorn hunt, for example. You could imagine a dream world parallel to this one. Perhaps kingsleep makes you more active there. Maybe the slowed bodily functions make this a substitute for stasis on a slower than light colony ship. Imagine trying to build a new colony when everybody can only work for an hour a day. Etc etc. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence And The Killer Of Undertown
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-05-10 08:26 PM
An interesting take on the flowers. The most interesting part of this, I thought, was having prostitutes wear the flowers of innocence. That's just... wrong. I mean, if the flowers affect them, then what's the point where they become children? Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-05-10 08:21 PM
The basic premise is solid, if a bit familiar. The specific mechanic by which this plant eats people is interesting, but I'm not sure I like the degree of perception required for "trap people, then call monsters." I might like to see a rework of that part if this were to be revisited.

That said, the drug use idea is great. Go to Comment
30 Devils
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-05-04 12:08 PM
Very nice. Evocative, interesting, and creepy. There's some good stuff here. Of course, you're still missing 9 of them, but keep going. It looks good! Go to Comment
The Devil Of The Mountain
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Mountains)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-05-04 11:56 AM
Sorta disagree with Shadoweagle - this one is just a bit too open-ended for me. I feel like I would need more details before this would really spark my imagination into something interesting - as is, it's not much more than a horror movie monster.

Maybe 100 Word Submissions just aren't really for me.

It could, I suppose make a pretty solid session for a horror game. In that way, I like it - very less is more. Go to Comment
SR/L-1 Ostrich
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-03-03 08:35 PM
Not flashy, but certainly the sort of thing we'd probably see in mech-based warfare. The cynic in me wants to say, "Jeeps? Motorcycles?" but I try not to listen to him.

I am a bit curious as to why you say that an ostrich replacement is "not in the cards." If they're so ubiquitous, you'd think that everyone would want that contract.

And finally, I have no idea on what, if any, actual interactions occur between lions and ostriches, but your line "The Ostrich line there produces the lion's share of Ostriches in service." made me chuckle wondering about it. Go to Comment
Candenheim
Locations  (City)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2012-12-28 08:44 PM
I really like how you've turned the Christmas stuff into a menacing fantasy location. The imagery is great, and there's a lot of stuff about this post that's just neat - ghost bears, collecting children, the Eternal Flames... and so on. It all reads very well.

I have some concern for how well this would actually work in play - it just seems a little too out of the way, though the Lord's travels make it easier to bring him in.

But all said and done, top notch. Go to Comment
Ghorion, the Weaponmaster
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Mountains)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2012-12-14 09:30 PM
I kind of agree with axlerowes - this reads a lot like a description of a boss fight. It sounds very interesting and exciting, and definite points for that, but it's lacking in context. I feel like there's a lot that makes this guy important that I don't get from this submission. I think that the Glacier of Doom, for example, could very easily merit it's own submission, and improve this one by adding that context. Go to Comment
The Redheaded Corpse
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2012-12-14 09:46 PM
This is a good submission. The plot can be hooked into fairly easily, and there are a number of elements of momentary importance which could be adjusted to fit the scenario into a campaign. The setting helps to flavor things, but isn't critical, and the overall tale seems interesting.

My one problem is with the end. It's very abrupt. Rather, it's confusing in how it's supposed to tie together. I think an overview of the chain of events here would be very helpful. Go to Comment
Camel's Hump
Items  (Other)   (Non-Magical)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2012-11-13 08:58 PM
Speaking as someone who is not a lover of alcohol, I agree with Muro about its appeal due to its exoticness, and have no real knowledge of camels for it to nag at.

That said, while this sub has the interesting and artistic bits, I don't know how actually useable it is. I suppose some adventures could capture a treasure trove of fermenting camel humps or something,

I think that this could most benefit from some sample plot hooks, but it's not bad at all like this. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
119

Join Now!!




Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2