I love it! These things are just threatening enough to pose an actual threat, without just being another baddie to send the part against. The idea for encounters could play through a whole range, and each could be different. Good job, Bly!
A good application of the Quasi-souls. Also an interesting goal for the party when they need some information. I would love to see what tidbits my party brings out to barter for what they need. Go to Comment
They seem a very interesting group of creatures. I would like to see more information on those Quasi-souls trying to purge their souls.
A couple of things stand out to me as being odd. First, the Quasi-souls prefer tact over overt combat when at odds with someone. Why? I don't know, but it just seems at odds with how I picture them. Of course, you would know better than I about this, it just confuses me.
Secondly, the Quasi-souls prefer to blend in to the background and stay hidden. Not only does this seem difficult judging by their form, but it also seems impractical. You said that Quasi-souls seeking to become Soulesses do horrible acts to get them nearer to their goal. Wouldn't the opposite also be true, that Quasi-souls seeking to become Soulfuls would try to do good deeds so as to get them to their own goal?
Also, a small note on typography: There are a few points where the plurality changes in the middle of a sentence. it isn't necessarily a problem, I just find it distracting.
And, at the tail-end of this criticism, I'll add that I do really like this sub, and I hope to see plenty more. Go to Comment
I like it. I could see this being given to some red-herring NPC by mistake, and then the party would start thinking that he was some evil necromancer/demon/lawyer that drinks the blood of the living for breakfast. Go to Comment
Perhaps an entire town of Xarloccians that have killed off the normal townsfolk would need to go out and find people to kill, etc. Or would they be able to be generally nasty to each other every day just to keep from rotting? That could lead to an interesting town in which the heroes find an entire village of surly townsfolk that delight in tormenting them. Not in big ways, just pranks and disrespect. Go to Comment
I agree with Pieh. I really like how it's all pretty much a big puzzle, but with some combat and such thrown in to keep it interesting. I like the plot ideas and the map would be handy when running it. Go to Comment
I really like these. The image of a great worm-like creature made up of stone slithering toward a castle wall and plowing right through makes me want to write an adventure based on the one creature.
I also like the idea that not all the elementals are summoned by mages (as it is in DnD, mostly), but rather, that they are natural creatures with specific abilities and properties.
Good job, Scras! Go to Comment
I like the note at the bottom. With the three uses in your campaign, this one almost seems like something from Tales of Terror. Altogether, it sounds useful and interesting. I could see using it as a way to get the characters into an adventure, or even becoming the adventure itself. Go to Comment
Like val said: solid, but more of a side in an adventure. It can add good flavour to the world, and can help explain things, but making it the center of an adventure would take some thinking. Go to Comment
I especially liked the intro and the backstory, but, unfortunately, you didn't give enough details. You gave us the bare minimum to be able to use the Pierces in our games, but we usually like a little bit more to work with.
For instance, who was it that "recovered" the star-metal in the first place? How did Gavin Ferrig get his hands on it? Did he just buy it off the street? Was it given to him because of his skill as a smith?
You might also think about giving us one or two plot hooks, some ideas as to exactly how we could fit the Pierces into our games.
I still like it, though. And Welcome to the Citadel, kleric! Go to Comment
The backstory was very well written and detailed. It was very reminiscent of the European arrivals in the Americas. But, for a submission about an NPC, you gave us very little to go on about her.
There is some information in the history, but nothing about what Jade looks like, or how she might treat a party of adventurers, or even what she does during the day. Even the single plot hook seems almost tacked on as an after thought.
You have a good, solid foundation with which you could make almost anything, but you didn't make much that could easily be used, except as a bit of background information. Go to Comment
It reminds me a little of RuneQuest, what with the 'disease spirits' that cause plagues. The details are good, as is the description.
Even though it is set in a age when there are firearms, they don't play that big of a role, so it could be adapted very easily.
I especially like how the Harakan are addicted as well as bound by the blood that they drink. Go to Comment
The adventure can take place in a slightly shifted reality, where everybody has a totem (an animal guardian). The totem should be chosen randomly and not by the player, it is ok if "Gorflin the Large," a gigantic and aggressive barbarian, has a mouse for a totem.
These totems will assist the characters in small way. It is up to the characters to determine how to get the assistance; the animals won't solve mysteries for the characters only supply the clues. The character may even have a dream where his or her totem actually speaks to them and reveals some sort of clue.