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Twin goddesses of the Medusa
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Area)
Drackler's comment on 2008-06-08 09:07 AM
Ah, good. I see your work is still as good as ever, Grey. These two goddesses are useful, especially in context with your sub Lost city of the Medusa. Here, as at that post, I would like to voice my preference to using the actual name of the creature (Gorgon), to that of the most famous representative of those creatures (Medusa). But I digress. This post is rather well detailed, but I do have a couple questions. First, are there any strenuous rights of passage to become an initiate in the respective churches of the goddesses? Second, what do the goddesses (or their avatars, if you prefer) look like? Go to Comment
Lover's Rock
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Drackler's comment on 2008-06-07 08:10 PM
This sub has possibilities, if, in your game you needed the characters to find an adulterer. The detail is nice as well. You might want to put in the description the fact of the silvery "blood" running through the veins. Go to Comment
General's Undead Army
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Drackler's comment on 2008-06-02 09:23 PM
The idea is good, the fact that they stay the same size is ripe for evil GM time (laughs evilly). But this is overshadowed by the fact that there is no backstory. Who made them? What happened to them after that? I suggest that you put this one in the "in work" section until you get the specifics worked out. I'm holding my vote until this is changed. Go to Comment
Ways to die
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Game Mastering)
Drackler's comment on 2008-06-01 12:37 PM
I cannot actually see a use for this list "in game", yes it's something that could keep us amused here in the Citadel, but you're not actually trying to kill the PCs. I suggest that you add the "Silly" freetext. That being said, I do like it. Go to Comment
Corran's Glove
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Magical)
Drackler's comment on 2008-06-01 12:32 PM
This is a usable sub, clear, easy to read, etc. I do have a couple questions, though. First: the glove has Corran's mark on it, what does that look like? Second: The Arcanes are now in possession of it, who are they?

Also, the leather was blessed, but it didn't form into the right shape until Corran started cursing, did that affect the glove? Anyway, it's a nice sub. Go to Comment
Danamax Rapier
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-27 10:51 AM
I agree with what Shadoweagle said. The ruleset/setting specifics should probably be changed, and, though I like the background, it is a bit sparse. Pretty much everything else was fine, no spelling or grammatical errors. Except for the first line.

"Also known as Falcon Rapiers, Danamax Rapiers are more elongated than normal rapiers, about two or three inches longer than a normal Rapier."

This would be better written to me as:

"Also known as Falcon Rapiers, Danamax Rapiers are more elongated than normal rapiers, by about two or three inches"

This rids the sentence of the redundant second saying of "normal rapiers".

Anyway, you've turned out another good sub, Infested-jerk.

(although it's a little disconcerting to keep calling someone a jerk, at least someone who didn't deserve it). Go to Comment
The Bloody Bow
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Magical)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-26 03:14 PM
The Bloody Bow's background is somewhat generic (a god give the item to a powerful guy then it gets lost to time), the powers are a little like most things you would find in any RPG, your basic vampiric bow. But the added powers, such as the transformation to a Blood Beast, make it more than cliche. Your use of what appear to be fairly system specific rulings (as far as I can tell, it's D&D) is a little unhelpful, as it is best to leave the specifics to be determined by the various DM's. I have a question though, you refer to the Blood Beast, is that someething that might be found in the wild? If it is, will you be submitting it soon? Nicely written sub. Go to Comment
Kotor of the Glade
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-26 02:42 PM
Kotor of the Glade. I like the name. He seems a good NPC to flesh out your gaming world. Kotor does not "feel" like a major plot-starter to me, but it really doesn't matter. Not every toad/crab/human that the party comes across needs to be a plot hook. You did a great job with the physical description, very...Descriptive. Welcome to the Citadel, Infested-jerk. Go to Comment
The Deathbringer
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-22 02:25 PM
The short amount of time is to, somewhat overly, portray Charles' abilities. Go to Comment
The Deathbringer
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-22 08:26 PM
Updated: Adjusted a few things. Go to Comment
The Deathbringer
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Non-Magical)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-23 03:52 PM
The somewhat cliche'd name was given as sort of a joke on my part. It fits perfectly with the supposed sword, but the reality is just not the same. Go to Comment
Spontaneous enchantments
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-21 03:40 PM
A good scroll, fairly useful and interesting. The idea is likable, mainly because these aren't highly powerful items. What I see this as becoming is a list of small, but good,items. The kind of stuff that would light up the PC's eye. Yet another good one, Grey. Go to Comment
Spontaneous enchantments
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-21 03:50 PM
The Unending Fire

This small chunk of flint, and paired iron striker, are of singular ability. Anything lit on fire with them will never burn out. It is a fire in every sense except that it does not use any fuel or oxygen. Go to Comment
Shek-Ta
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-21 04:40 PM
I agree with Echo in saying that you brought across the nature of the Kumbra well. I noticed a few points where you mixed your pronouns, at one point referring to Shek-Ta as "her, at another as "it". You also made a grammatical mistake, the possessive it "its", "it's" means "it is". A nice well rounded sub,Silv. Go to Comment
One man's plush toy...
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-20 05:39 PM
This is an interesting idea, slightly disturbing, but nevertheless interesting. I enjoy the idea of cute little teddy bears ramming themselves repeatedly against someone. The writing is clear and easy to read, and there were no spelling or grammar problems that I could see. congrats, Grey. Go to Comment
The Silvermoon Carnival
Society/ Organizations  (Artistic/Performance)   (Area)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-20 07:03 PM
I like the idea, and the background is decent. Something I would suggest would be to give some descriptions for specific locations within the carnival. Do they have a special tent just for "weathering out" their transformations? Also, what happens usually during the full moon, do they just sit around and mope,or do the villagers find oddly killed deer in the woods the next morning? Go to Comment
Lost city of the Medusa
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (Area)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-12 05:47 PM
First off, welcome to the Citadel, Grey. This is a nice new look at the medusa as a race (though I prefer to call them gorgons, since that's the actual name of the creature, and not simply the most well known one). The history is interesting, and it is nicely detailed. A few more details about this "infant god" of theirs would be nice. Great first sub. Go to Comment
Dempree Dupree's Emporionic Bazaar
Locations  (City)   (Any)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-11 03:40 PM
I didn't do just that because I wanted to allow the idea to ferment in the DM's mind. I gave you the place, and what it is about, now it's up to you to specify the locations in your own game. Go to Comment
Deathapple Trees
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-09 06:19 PM
Short, but sweet. An interesting bit of flora for almost any game setting. Go to Comment
Elias and Manfred
NPCs  (Major)   (Artistic/Performance)
Drackler's comment on 2008-05-09 06:28 PM
Interesting... A (not-quite) talking cat, and a ventriloquist.
I love it. Two colorful charaters with which you can entangle the PCs. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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