A gazette popular with the rebellious, young, and uninformed, The Alternative Philosopher is filled with the rantings of various second-rate historians, theologians, and thinkers. The editor-in-chief and publisher is a certain "Doctor" Dorus Hechliemer, a former professor at a major university whose credentials were revoked after he published some particularly odious and unorthodox papers. Hechliemer started the publication as a soapbox for his myriad paranoid "research projects," but eventually it attracted other writers of his ilk. It now features an introductary "From the Editor" piece by Hechliemer, followed by various conspiracy theories, alternatives histories, outright slander, and other things kept out of more scholarly pieces. Much of it is ahistorical gibberish written to please the egos of their authors, but some say there are kernels of truth peppered throughout each publication.
"...And thus we come to the recent destruction of Demosthene Abbey. The official report of the tyrant is that it was an 'accidental fire' began by poor Brother Procus, an ally of our causes. Accidental indeed! All who know Br. Procus agree that he was (or is, since there is no proof he is actually dead) the most upstanding and alert person of the whole monastery. What could cause him bring an exposed lantern into the hay barn? Even the abbot has betrayed the True Citizens of this kingdom by saying Procus was, and I must quote, 'habitually intaking wine and other liquors forbidden by our order.' Lest we forget, Abbot Zaran was once our greatest ally and a provider of funds for our cause! It was only the last months, since our publication on the Trvth of the 'religion' that he revoked our funds and stopped speaking to us. Clearly, he has been replaced (much like Senator Gharthus) by a doppelganger, some fiend working for the quasi-governmental demonic league. Now, the question on all your hearts I'm sure is this: how do the wizard guilds fit into this? That, friends, is obvious..."
- Professor-Comrade Thariel Zorst, "Demons, Wizards & Merfolk: What We Know, Who They Control, & What You Can Do" Go to Comment
I like the sewn-lips habit and their hostel as a form of income. I quibble at them being warrior monks, as it seems every group of habited men in fantasy worlds are secret Shaolin warriors, but that is but a quibble. Go to Comment
I like it. But I don't get why they're forbidden to be literate in any other tongue. If it's to keep messages secret, why allow them to memorize messages? Furthermore, how does one enforce illiteracy? That aside, I like these postmen and their hats. Go to Comment
In Chinese culture, there is a concept of wok hei, which literally translated is "breath of the wok." Hei is another form of the word ki, which is that classic Oriental monk spiritual source of power. Foods that have good wok hei are said to be better for one's spirit (and of course better in taste) than those that lack it. Perhaps a whole school of magic could exist that deals with the preparation and consumption of food. Go to Comment