Hm... I like it. It has potential. But...
It's a bit short on details. Right now, it seems more like an idea seed. I want to know why they made it biological, who designed it, more detailed advantages and disadvantages, what it might look like. Details like these really make or break a sub, so to speak.
I'll hold off on voting until you edit it. Really, Corinth, it's a *great* idea, I just think it needs some more fleshing out. Keep 'em coming! Go to Comment
Well, it is a sci-fi sub, emphasis on the fi. I have no problem with the idea of biological computers (they were mentioned more than once in ST:VOY, for example), but I do like my biomachines to have some detail. Go to Comment
What might be even more entertaining is to have it actually *do* something, just something very subtle or out of the sight of the PCs. Have you seen that one commercial where the guy keeps hitting the switch on his wall trying to figure out what it does when it ends up opening and closing his neighbor's garage door on top of her own car? Mayb esomething like that: a garage door opener in some far-off star system. When the PCs push the hieroglyphs, the door smashes down on the aliens' starcruiser, setting off an intergalactic war unbeknownst to them. Go to Comment
A metallic, rust-colored button with four eyes and shaped in a square. The button is actually made of two separate pieces attached by a copper band. When tapped twice, the two halves will grind against each other back and forth very rapidly. The result is a small rain of sparks, enough to start kindling or cause a distraction. Go to Comment
Very cool! It's like a bag of minor enchanted items that might crop up on various masterwork or looted garments. I bet you could make a table of these and randomly attach a button to a garment found in a dungeon or treasure trove. Can't wait to see more like these from you, Eclipse! Go to Comment
Bizzaro. It definately has a melancholy feel to it which gives it lots of character. Well done!
One question: you said it's made of yak parts and has glass eyes. Is the head a yak skull, or just a pile of disjointed bones put together to resemble a human skull? Or is it something entirely different? Any selection would be pretty interesting, actually. Go to Comment
Awesomeness! A very unique lifeform indeed. Silicate life is far too often overlooked in sci-fi.
The hive mind and symbiotic aspects remind me of sci-fi insectoid life (Starcraft's Zerg, Halo's the Flood, etc.), but they're so far removed from those similiarites that they're truly unique. Also, they're not evil like other hive minds, but in fact peaceful and curious. I love 'em! Go to Comment
Very nice! Seems to be a combination and twist on several classics, but you've made it distinctly your own. I definately like the detail in their history, how they came to be who they are. I would have liked a little more detail on their structure, operation, etc., but the detail you've given is what some space traveller coming across them might expect to know. An excellent first submission, Corinth! Go to Comment
Very unique indeed. I do have one question: with such a bizzare and monstrous appearance - even with their masks - who would trade with these creatures? And what do they have worth trading? Go to Comment
I, too, have a softspot for dragons. This is a nice and simple sub that is adaptable to pretty much any situation. An excellent first sub, DD. :)
You might could complicate things by throwing in a monk of the Tagma Drakontas. The monk might assist the PCs, or walk in at just the wrong moment: when Bellissa breathes her last and the PCs are standing over her. The zealous monk jumps to conclusions and a standoff is made. Go to Comment