Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Butter of Disbelief
Items  (Potion)   (Magical)
Dozus's comment on 2007-02-01 10:10 AM
Amusing, yet strikingly useful and creative. Good job. Go to Comment
Hielo People
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Dozus's comment on 2007-01-25 07:32 PM
I like the lifeforms. Expand detail on them and you've got a nice minor race.

The innuendo narrative was childish, unnecessary, and detrimental to the post. Unless you're really just going for shock/silliness value, take it out. In my opinion, it's just distraction to a potentially good sub. Go to Comment
Reverend Monsignor Hilthurst
NPCs  (Minor)   (Religious)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-03 04:24 PM
Great character, love how well you have him integrated into your world. Go to Comment
Tamrep, the Bastard God
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-08 04:39 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Village People
NPCs  (Extras)   (Agricultural)
Dozus's comment on 2007-03-24 09:39 PM
Shumal the Outlander

Appearance
One glance at him and you can tell Shumal ain't from around here. His skin is a yellowy tan with large almond eyes and an almost blue-black tuft of hair combed straight forward. A long and narrow goatee sprouts from his pointed chin. If not for his strange hairstyles and taste in loud foreign clothes, he might actually be attractive. He is constantly smiling and speaks with an enchanting accent. His grasp of the local language is very solid; his exciting stories always attract the village children, and his poetry makes the women swoon. Shumal's age is difficult to discern: he looks young, but it could be his foreign blood. Though he keeps it a secret to most - just to keep mystery about him - Shumal is actually 47.

Family and Life
Shumal arrived in the village three years ago on camelback, his mount weighted by sacks, chests, bags, crates, and other varities of merchant wares. It was not the first time foreign traders had been to the village, but what really surprised everyone is what Shumal did next: buy a small shop and move in. Shumal will plainly state that his business in the village is business. He opened a small haberdashery dealing in "fine" men's clothes at very "affordable" prices (the clothes aren't particularly fine and the prices are gouged, but at least the style's fresh). Business is decent, and Shumal's styles are found on gentlemen throughout the village, but some say it's not quite enough to keep the shop running. A few accuse him of public theft or witchcraft, but most dismiss these claims.

To fill the economic gap, Shumal leaves for two weeks every other month on his camel, always returning with new sacks of foreign wares and updated styles. He always seems to have something for the Tinker, who ritually locks his door at Shumal's approach, demands he leave, and then eventually reopens the door to barter. Shumal's foreign spices always finds their way into Irres' food and she has become a regular customer for him. The two have forged a friendship, frequently joking and trading flirts. Shumal also frequents Thanen's place for a good brew at the end of the day. The foreigner is enthralled with Thanen's products, often saying they are the best he's ever had in the world. He tries frequently to trade for Thanen's secrets, which is always a bust. On occasion, Thanen will part with one of his better vintages in exchange for an exotic liquor Shumal brings. For the rest of the town, he carries a wide assortment of trinkets and foreign goods, each always having some exotic, romantic story Shumal will tell (and often invent).

A few particular xenophobes in the village still hold him with contempt and suspicion. If he brings in such distant goods, they demand, why does he bring them to tiny Strolehaven? Aren't there larger, more profitable towns to deal in? He must have an alterior motive, they explain. In truth, Shumal's goods are second rate at best, and often third; he would have no chance in a large town with much more quality items. He would much rather be in his homeland, but a feud with his politically powerful father caused him to be exiled forever. Shumal settled in Strolehaven hoping to make a new home for himself. Other accuse him of being a relative of Emily, whom he frequently visits. Their relationship, however, is strictly one-sided: Shumal is enchanted by her exotic beauty, and she gives him only passing (usually negative) thought.

Special Equipment
Shumal always has something interesting to trade. They are usually only kitshy souveniers from other lands, but he occasionally has a real prize find. He is also the proud owner of the village's only camel, an old female beast he calls Warisha.

Roleplaying Notes
Shumal can often be found in the tavern sharing drinks, stories, and shills with the village folk. He is outgoing and friendly to all; insults, which come not infrequently by some of the locals, have no real effect on him. You might find something suiting at his haberdashery, or he may have some more unique trinkets behind the counter. If cajoled enough - and offered the right price - he may even have some smuggled illegal goods. Don't expect anything major, though; at most, a few exotic narcotics, weapons, or religious goods. One never knows, though: Shumal might have more than meets the eye. Go to Comment
Rod of Rod Control
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
Dozus's comment on 2006-12-26 11:08 PM
Likes: Interesting concept. Not too powerful in that it takes control of a rod or absorbs its abilities, but it just activates them, creating a haywire situation. Nicely written intro...

Dislikes: ...but not enough for me. Some wizard made it and got attacked. Who is this guy? Who attacked him? What were they trying to find? That part almost seems like a cop-out for writing a real backstory. And why would he make such a rod? Some more stuff on that could make this a great post.

I'll hold off on voting until you can make it shine, which I'm sure you can do. Go to Comment
The Vintage of Despair
Items  (Potion)   (Cursed)
Dozus's comment on 2012-10-31 06:01 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Earth Children
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
Dozus's comment on 2011-05-03 01:12 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Isuni Meneratt
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Dozus's comment on 2006-12-05 09:42 AM
What a useful and unique plant. Good work! Go to Comment
Mirruva Fox
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-26 06:26 AM
Tree fox! I'd like a touch more on the biology: how are its feet adapted? What's "slightly smaller" and "slightly longer" in terms of measurable range? Is it the same reddish color as foxes meant to sneak through brush, or has its fur adapted to match the trees better? If it's domesticated, are there any specific breeds or crossbreeds?

It's a neat idea, but I'd like a few more details. Go to Comment
Morghwann Seed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Dozus's comment on 2006-12-04 08:22 AM
The Hek could eat it! :D http://www.strolen.com/content.php?node=2892

Not bad. A little to simple for my tastes, but it fills the "yucky mushrooms" role of a campaign. Go to Comment
Jaith, the Message
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Knowledge/Lore)
Dozus's comment on 2011-05-24 07:02 AM


I like legendary figures like this.


Go to Comment
Boldrei the Barber-Chiurgeon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Dozus's comment on 2012-12-19 09:01 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Justice in the Free Cities
Systems  (Political)   (General)
Dozus's comment on 2012-10-31 01:53 PM
Very well thought out. I like the little details like mask-wearing Noble Accusers and the physical ordeals. Love to see someone go through the Ordeal of Water and have some river nymph swim down to protect them. Go to Comment
Myrie Bugs
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (City/ Ruin)
Dozus's comment on 2006-11-28 12:21 AM
Solid! I loved the constant references to other societies, magic ingredients, detailed side effects, etc. And there was even a taxonomic nomenclature! Among my favorite bugs. Go to Comment
Handlers and Abszurl
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Trans World)
Dozus's comment on 2012-11-01 12:02 PM
I think I saw, many a year ago, a Discovery Channel special about potential genetically-altered races. They of course didn't go into the culture of them, which I do appreciate about this one. But yeah, the tough thing about sci-fi is that there's not a lot of "Ctrl-X, Ctrl-Y" ideas that you can have with a lot of detail, since good sci-fi is multifacted and unified. It's a nice sub, though, altogether. Go to Comment
Archibald Ganse
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mercantile)
Dozus's comment on 2013-02-27 09:46 PM
I'm sorry I missed this before. A great story for the little mining town of Ganse. Go to Comment
Peto Specimen, The Bleeding King
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Dozus's comment on 2006-11-24 10:15 AM
A very interesting revolutionary. Only two real complaints: 1) the name Mently Wave does absolutely nothing for me, and 2) a few grammatical errors/awkward sentences in the post. The concept, however, is fascinating. Good work. Go to Comment
Annoying Cursed items
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Cursed)
Dozus's comment on 2006-11-12 08:11 PM
The Collector's Scabbard

This unusual scabbard is made of fine crystal, being perfectly clear so as to show the blade, but is also incredibly sturdy. The scabbard is gilt with platinum on the edges and chape, and a gold inlay on the throat. It is well known to keep swords in perfect condition, even cleaning rust, dirt, and gore from any blade inserted into it. The scabbard is also enchanted to be fully adjustable, fitting anything from the smallest arthame to the broadest of zweihanders.

Unfortunately, as a user of the scabbard will quickly discover, the blade is nearly impossible to remove. The scabbard is somewhat self-aware, and it loves keeping things in mint condition. Any attempts to remove a sword from the scabbard will be met with firm resistance. Furthermore, if and when a sword is forcibly removed, it will immidiately lose its luster, a thick layer of rust consuming the steel. Depending on the quality of the metal, the blade could be permenantly damaged. Go to Comment
Annoying Cursed items
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Cursed)
Dozus's comment on 2006-11-12 10:28 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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