I don't think it's bad, really. I just don't quite know what to do with it. For one, my Kobaldi is a little rusty, so interpreting what it all means requires some inferencing. For another, I like to have something to hang my gaming hat on - a plot or some other thing that suggests how I can implement it into a game or storyline.
As is, I think it does better as a stub. But I think it does have potential to be subbified with a little more scaffolding and support. Go to Comment
A fine idea. Reading this makes me think about how I actually vote on subs. I think writing subs like this is a challenge for some (read: me), as some (I) tend to springboard from "fluff" to "stuff". A worthy challenge.
Welcome to the Citadel, Brutus! Thanks for your subs.
Just a heads up about our little operation. There's a few things we always want to see in subs: playability, detailed descriptions, reasonable backstories, good grammar. Punctuation and grammar is a *must* with us. I suggest running your sub through a spellchecker before you post it (there's one on the submission page, if you don't feel like using your word processor). I'd like to talk to you about your content, but honestly I'm afraid I can't read it due to lack of punctuation and spelling :) Start by running that sucker through a spellchecker, and we'll go from there.
A great example of a a plot can be found in Manfred's "To Die For Love." Perhaps that will give you a good idea on how a plot sub should look.
Again, welcome to the Citadel! Hope to see more from you, and to comment on your completed sub soon! Go to Comment
Enraged by the violation of the Peace Pool and the Whalebone Forest, a dead leviathan has risen from the bottom of the ocean and now hounds ships around the port where the stolen jewels went to land. It capsizes ships and devours sailors whole, spears protuding from its dead and crab-eaten hide.