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7 Things About Criticism
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Citadel Help)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-26 07:07 AM
All commentors and submitters should read this monthly to remind themselves what good criticism is, and what to do with criticism. Those periodic times when people forget one or the other tend to cause offense to be taken unnecessarily, and nobody likes that. Go to Comment
30 Judges
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Political)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-26 08:17 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Brotherhood of the Land of Nod
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (Area)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-26 12:11 PM
I was kind of expecting just a Cosmic Era take on C&C, but I really like the direction this one headed. It makes sense for a religious-to-zealous region like the Arabian Peninsula venerate super tech like arcanotechnology.

Interesting that you make it a secret society rather than a militant empire. Are there analogues to al-Qaida and the like, or am I reading too much into it? Go to Comment
30 Mecha Design Flaws
Systems  (Combat/ Warfare)   (General)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-20 09:18 AM
Great details on this one. I like that it's not just mechanical or combat situations but some sociopolitical too. Fits well into your setting, but could be easily modified for others. Go to Comment
Military Clones
NPCs  (Extras-Horde)   (Combative)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-16 06:06 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
The moral compass
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-12 05:39 PM
Oh man, I love little things like this. The background story is great, and the subtle effects of the compass are the perfect thing to throw into a campaign. I can see a player coming to rely on the compass to see what's considered "moral" for a campaign, only to discover her alignment and actions slowly turning darker over time.

The grammar and spelling are a little loose here and there, but I gather English isn't your first tongue and let it slide. It's a great piece, especially given that it's your first. Great work, and I can't wait to see more from you. Go to Comment
The Town of Inexplicable Babies
Locations  (City)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-10 08:02 PM
The image is quite funny, infants appearing out of nowhere. But the details you explore about what might happen in such a society, as well as the how/whys, make it something more interesting. Well done. Go to Comment
Litwell
Locations  (Ruins)   (Plains)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-10 04:08 PM
How interesting! A sad tale, but it would make for an interesting encounter.

I think I'm still a bit lost on the details re: the Litwells current where/whenabouts. Are they just stuck in the past someplace? Do they have to wait 500 years to return? Are they still hanging out with Lucas? Go to Comment
The Blackwings
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-07 10:18 AM
The caste system is well thought out. Like you describe, they do seem a very cold-hearted race.

You mentioned it's common for Blackwings to keep slaves. Do they enslave fellow Blackwings, or other races, or both? Go to Comment
The Blackwings
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-07 10:18 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Trash Golem
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-05 03:05 PM
Are the limits on the length of time this spell is active? Say in a city in the midst of a barbarian sacking, a wizard enchants a bunch of random junk of his as trash golem seeds. Would adventurers rediscovering the city a century or more later find roving trash golems guarding the place?

What about size? Could a golem seed that gets thrown into a junk yard assemble all debris around it into a giant trash golem? Given their regeneration ability, such a golem would be extremely difficult to bring down.

I can see a sort of street wizard-thief using this spell to stalk prey in the night, having trash golems jump out from alleyways and mug passerby. Go to Comment
Trash Golem
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-06 05:53 AM
I think this is great. Making golems out of non-standard stuff isn't brand new, but this take on it has a good story, good mechanics, and is just a good idea over all. Great first sub, Pete. Go to Comment
15/30 Bards
NPCs  (Minor)   (Artistic/Performance)
Dozus's comment on 2008-02-05 08:50 PM
Twelve so far... Working on more! Go to Comment
Serum 87
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-05 05:47 AM
Very well researched article. One can imagine such a thing might exist, terrifying though that fact may be.

Welcome back! Go to Comment
The CogNet
Locations  (TransWorld)   (CyberSpace)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-06 04:50 AM
This is a logical, if daunting progression from our Information Age into the Cosmic Age. I like the sort of mystery of the unformatted beyond and the hidden presence of arcanotech.

Looking over the themes, it's interesting that only Necessity makes the CogNet really, well, necessary. The rest are manipulation of human urges and mass media. Not unlike the Internet of today, I suppose.

You mention that the poor Netizens lack the luxury of rich real goods, enjoying only synthetic stuff. I wonder what the demographics of the CogNet are; or, more specifically, how many people of the Cosmic Age have access? The most recent stat I have on modern day Internet access is only about 34% world wide; does the ubiquity of the CogNet mean a larger percentage of the population are on the Net, or is it still a limited number who are in very deep?

One typo I noticed in the second full paragraph of Behind the Curtains: "Humans who enter the CogNet enter do so by..."

All in all, an very interesting take on the future of the Web, and the addition of other Cosmic Era lore makes it quite unique. Go to Comment
Armadyne ECR
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-04 06:19 AM
I find the idea of magnetic weaponry appealing, particularly in the face of limited resources as you suggest. This is a nice handling of the concept. Go to Comment
Organic NPCs (and PCs)
Articles  (Character)   (Gaming - In General)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-12 09:04 PM
Wow, don't know how I missed this one before. A really great analysis of character development. Go to Comment
Strolens Generator Quickstart
Articles  (Other Gaming)   (Citadel Help)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-03 02:21 PM
Wow, that's easy. And the screenshots help. Great! Go to Comment
The Eye of Seenu
Items  (Jewelry)   (Sentient)
Dozus's comment on 2014-01-28 10:36 AM
Update: General cleaning up, typo editing, and the like. Go to Comment
Larvae of the Outer Gods
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-01-27 02:20 PM
Great categorization. Ranking and organizing unfathomable monsters seems an attempt to tame them with our words, no matter how feeble that attempt may be. Go to Comment
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