Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Deepbend Maximum Security Prison
Locations  (Fortification)   (Water)
Dozus's comment on 2012-04-20 01:08 PM


A very clever detention center. I like the thought you've put into how it would operate.


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The Legend of Jaroth, The Dragon's Shadow
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Travelers)
Dozus's comment on 2012-10-29 07:26 PM
Yep, definitely needs some cohesiveness to bring this idea together. I think the flesh is actually there, just needs some bones on it. Go to Comment
Emotional Program Break or EPB
Items  (Computers)   (Sentient)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-03 09:10 PM
This is an interesting idea, but it's real hard to explore in 100 words. I like the format for some things, but this idea seems too complex for such a short sub. Go to Comment
30 Flies
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-07 04:43 PM
And they said it couldn't be done! This is great stuff. Go to Comment
Turtle Lotus
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Water)
Dozus's comment on 2012-11-05 04:51 AM
Love it. As exotic as mounts get. Go to Comment
Bodach the Straw Man
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Mystical)
Dozus's comment on 2012-11-01 01:38 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Hemangini Tree
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2012-11-01 10:26 AM
Put that sucker over a lead-rich vein and you've got a natural musket ball manufactory. Go to Comment
Sivvers
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Space)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-23 07:05 AM


Oh, I like this one. They are on face a space zombie, but the depth and characterization make it something different entirely.


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The Shaolangan religion
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Regional)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-25 11:04 AM


Very nice idea! Quite believable and, as axlerowes pointed out, we get everything we need to know in 100 words.


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The Tale of Koboldi
Plots  (Event)   (Single-Storyline)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-18 06:21 AM
I don't think it's bad, really. I just don't quite know what to do with it. For one, my Kobaldi is a little rusty, so interpreting what it all means requires some inferencing. For another, I like to have something to hang my gaming hat on - a plot or some other thing that suggests how I can implement it into a game or storyline.

As is, I think it does better as a stub. But I think it does have potential to be subbified with a little more scaffolding and support. Go to Comment
Ming-Na Xiang
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-13 09:10 AM


Very nice. I like the "chop suey" kung fu feel blended with the CthuluTech.


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Ve'laan
Items  (Materials)   (Non-Magical)
Dozus's comment on 2013-08-01 09:58 AM
Ooh, that hadn't occurred to me. My presumption was only water - fresh or salt - would keep it from "rusting", but I don't see why other fluids wouldn't work. Go to Comment
The Tyrant of the Mind
NPCs  (Minor)   (Political)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-10 01:13 PM


A fine foundation. I can envision a lot springing from this.


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100 Word Submission
Articles  (Fiction)   (Citadel Help)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-10 12:15 PM


A fine idea. Reading this makes me think about how I actually vote on subs. I think writing subs like this is a challenge for some (read: me), as some (I) tend to springboard from "fluff" to "stuff". A worthy challenge.


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The Red Fortress
Locations  (Fortification)   (Plains)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-10 01:14 PM


Striking imagery.


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The Glade
Society/ Organizations  (Mystical)   (Local)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-10 01:15 PM


Like Robot Wars, but with fantasy sentients. It's a good thing.


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Rockytop Freehold
Locations  (Fortification)   (Mountains)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-10 01:18 PM


This seems more like a stub than a sub, not because of its length but its genericalness. Nothing really sets it apart from any other acropolis.


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The Forestal Crown
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-10 01:20 PM


Eminently useful.


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The Invisible Trebuchet
Plots  (Crisis)   (Side-Quest)
Dozus's comment on 2012-01-10 01:23 PM


I like the plot. I'm picturing the Usurper as a Dick Dastardly, wringing gloved hands as boulders seem to appear from nowhere in the town.



How does one aim an invisible trebuchet?


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falling empires
Plots  (Crisis)   (Campaign)
Dozus's comment on 2008-04-16 05:36 PM
Welcome to the Citadel, Brutus! Thanks for your subs.

Just a heads up about our little operation. There's a few things we always want to see in subs: playability, detailed descriptions, reasonable backstories, good grammar. Punctuation and grammar is a *must* with us. I suggest running your sub through a spellchecker before you post it (there's one on the submission page, if you don't feel like using your word processor). I'd like to talk to you about your content, but honestly I'm afraid I can't read it due to lack of punctuation and spelling :) Start by running that sucker through a spellchecker, and we'll go from there.

A great example of a a plot can be found in Manfred's "To Die For Love." Perhaps that will give you a good idea on how a plot sub should look.

Again, welcome to the Citadel! Hope to see more from you, and to comment on your completed sub soon! Go to Comment
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