Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Ashantar, the Beacon of Hope
Locations  (City)   (Plains)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-06 07:08 AM
Wow, there's a lot of neat elements in here. I like that first bit about the warriors seeing visions of their fallen ancestors and family members to drive them forward on the battle field.

Am I correct in guessing that English isn't your first language? There's a number of grammatical errors and word mis-usage, but it doesn't affect the reading too much.

You're building an interesting world here. I look forward to seeing where it goes. Go to Comment
Taqukaq's Trading Post
Locations  (Establishment)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-04 03:28 PM
Update: Any suggestions before putting this one to print? Go to Comment
Fo Derarer Agger
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-04 07:29 AM
Welcome to the Citadel, Darkonyx! Glad to see you making your first submission.

A few suggestions on this sub. First, while giving the item some background is great, it might help to put it more into context. We don't really know who Emperor Sarth III is, nor anything about the Ashatar Empire or the tonuges of Vuderan. Help us a little more with context and tell us more about these guys.

Secondly, while the stats are a big help, realize that Citadellians use a wide variety of systems. Maybe add some more context about what benefits the armor provides in game. It obviously adds a lot to health: why? How? Provide not just the mechanics, but more in-context explanation (ex.: the blacksmith was also a powerful sorcerer, and imbued the heart of the Ashatar Warrior God in the fires of his forge).

Also, it helps to add some visual details when explaining items. What makes this armor unique, aside from its magical properties? What does it look like?

Lastly, tell us how to use it in a campaign. Who possess the armor now? How could it be acquired? Does it have any dangers associated with it or its possession? These things make it a practical, usable campaign item.

This article provides some more suggestions for your first entry: http://strolen.com/viewing/New_to_Strolens_Citadel

You look like you have some interesting ideas behind this sub, and I can't wait to read more from you, Darkonyx. Welcome, and thanks for writing with us! Go to Comment
Fo Derarer Agger
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-04 07:30 AM
Here's another very useful article by MoonHunter: http://strolen.com/viewing/Five_Best_Tips_for_Posting_on_Strolens_and_Other_Places

And I meant DarkoRnyx. :) Sorry for the typo. Go to Comment
The Dog Pit Public House
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-02 01:47 PM
Update: Hey, I figured out how to add pictures. Go to Comment
The Dog Pit Public House
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-02 04:01 PM
Not really. The worst injuries the Pit deals with are broken limbs, concussions, etc. And "deal with" here means "dump unconscious fighters in the back alley." Discarded limbs and piles of entrails would lead to too many questions. Go to Comment
The Dog Pit Public House
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-03 04:08 PM
An honor! I look forward to reading about it in a future Kingmakers installment. Go to Comment
The Dog Pit Public House
Locations  (Establishment)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-03 04:09 PM
The gambling is only referenced off-hand. I'll think on and put something substantial up there. Go to Comment
Atheus
Locations  (Continent)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-04 07:44 AM
Not bad. Gives us a nice overview of the setting. I look forward to seeing how all these peoples and places interact to provide a unique setting. Go to Comment
SR/L-1 Ostrich
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Dozus's comment on 2013-02-27 12:23 PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is the first time we've seen Africa mentioned in the Cosmic Era. What's the political layout there, if I may ask? New New Imperialism, the rise of a Pan-African state, ethnic- and language-based state divisions? Go to Comment
Is Anybody Out There?
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Dozus's comment on 2013-02-19 02:20 PM
A nice article dealing with the Fermi Paradox: "Where is everybody?"

I'd like to see it deal more directly with how a RP setting might be built out of this. With no aliens to fight (and, if we're being as realistic, only nigh-to-light rather than faster-than-light engines), what conflicts - if any - would arise? Are there resource wars after we build Dyson spheres across our solar region? Who, if anyone, governs a pan-galactic society?

At any rate, it's nice work charting the territory of the fateful answer to Fermi's question. Go to Comment
Is Anybody Out There?
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Dozus's comment on 2013-03-01 07:32 AM
"In an informal discussion in 1950, the physicist Enrico Fermi questioned why, if a multitude of advanced extraterrestrial civilizations exists in the Milky Way galaxy, evidence such as spacecraft or probes is not seen. A more detailed examination of the implications of the topic began with a paper by Michael H. Hart in 1975, and it is sometimes referred to as the Fermi–Hart paradox." Go to Comment
The Wraith: Duke Levi Bosner
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Dozus's comment on 2013-02-15 02:50 PM
He reminds me of an anti-Green Arrow. Very well written. Go to Comment
Devil's Spit
Items  (Materials)   (Non-Magical)
Dozus's comment on 2013-02-09 11:56 PM
Interesting. I wonder if there's any deeper, unnatural cause for its corrosive touch and strange glow. Or is it just radioactive? Go to Comment
Garashino
Locations  (City)   (Swamp)
Dozus's comment on 2013-02-08 07:24 AM
This is absolutely delightful. You've really illustrated the life of this city well. It's the details, of course, that get me: the fashion so important that even visitors must afford new dress, the celebrated wealth and game of the church, the politicking of the sea-elves. Really well done.

I found the were-shark part interesting. I almost feel like it needed something more, but I can't put my finger on what or explain while I feel that way, so I can't fault you for it. It's a nice little twist, though.

How *does* one tell the difference between a red-portaled inn and a crimson-doored brothel? Go to Comment
The Sorcerer's Knot
Dungeons  (Any)   (Puzzles)
Dozus's comment on 2013-01-15 12:10 PM
Extremely well presented and organized. I thought I didn't get it at first, but your well-presented diagrams really cemented it for me. Very well done. Go to Comment
Timeline of the Cosmic Era
Society/ Organizations  (Political)   (World Wide)
Dozus's comment on 2013-01-14 01:10 PM
I suspect this will be very useful. Thanks for compiling. Go to Comment
Novo São Paulo
Locations  (City)   (Plains)
Dozus's comment on 2013-01-14 12:18 PM
Good questions. I shall ponder why Novo São Paulo beat out Brasilia as the capital, though immediate thoughts are that it São Paulo is larger and more economically-significant than Brasilia.

I'll add some outline on geofronts. As for seacologies, Novo São Paulo is close to but not on the coast proper, perhaps too far from the water to build seacologies. But there are two significant rivers nearby, perhaps some sort of freshwater enclosed sea could be artificed to provide a food source. Go to Comment
Novo São Paulo
Locations  (City)   (Plains)
Dozus's comment on 2013-01-15 07:27 AM
I had intended to write on the architecture, but as I tried to do that, I struggled with the ramifications of arcologies on architecture. Given the scale of arcologies, I would assume architecture would be so highly specialized as to vary from level to level in each arco, let alone providing a consistent architectural scheme for the whole city. You're right, the CityImage tag here is inappropriate and shall be excised until (if) I can provide the necessary architectural details.

Methinks I let this one out a little early. I'm putting 'er back into development for refit and polishing. Go to Comment
Novo São Paulo
Locations  (City)   (Plains)
Dozus's comment on 2013-01-15 09:34 AM
Helpful. I forgot that post-modern looking suspension bridge is in Sao Paolo.

The arcology pics are helpful too. I just kept defaulting to SimCity 2000.

"If you're looking for a beach in Sao Paulo you won't find it in Brazil's largest city of Sao Paulo. The city, which is the capital of the state of Sao Paulo, is almost 50 miles from the Atlantic coast and has no beaches to speak of, even though it is part of a river system that flows to the ocean."
The Sao Paolo beach pics are of beaches in Sao Paolo State, I believe. But that said, I now like the idea of a freshwater seacology created by damming/excavating the Pinheiros and Tietê rivers. Go to Comment
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