A very clever detention center. I like the thought you've put into how it would operate.

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Oh, I like this one. They are on face a space zombie, but the depth and characterization make it something different entirely.

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Very nice idea! Quite believable and, as axlerowes pointed out, we get everything we need to know in 100 words.

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I don't think it's bad, really. I just don't quite know what to do with it. For one, my Kobaldi is a little rusty, so interpreting what it all means requires some inferencing. For another, I like to have something to hang my gaming hat on - a plot or some other thing that suggests how I can implement it into a game or storyline.

As is, I think it does better as a stub. But I think it does have potential to be subbified with a little more scaffolding and support. Go to Comment

Very nice. I like the "chop suey" kung fu feel blended with the CthuluTech.

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A fine foundation. I can envision a lot springing from this.

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A fine idea. Reading this makes me think about how I actually vote on subs. I think writing subs like this is a challenge for some (read: me), as some (I) tend to springboard from "fluff" to "stuff". A worthy challenge.

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Striking imagery.

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Like Robot Wars, but with fantasy sentients. It's a good thing.

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This seems more like a stub than a sub, not because of its length but its genericalness. Nothing really sets it apart from any other acropolis.

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Eminently useful.

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I like the plot. I'm picturing the Usurper as a Dick Dastardly, wringing gloved hands as boulders seem to appear from nowhere in the town.

How does one aim an invisible trebuchet?

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Welcome to the Citadel, Brutus! Thanks for your subs.

Just a heads up about our little operation. There's a few things we always want to see in subs: playability, detailed descriptions, reasonable backstories, good grammar. Punctuation and grammar is a *must* with us. I suggest running your sub through a spellchecker before you post it (there's one on the submission page, if you don't feel like using your word processor). I'd like to talk to you about your content, but honestly I'm afraid I can't read it due to lack of punctuation and spelling :) Start by running that sucker through a spellchecker, and we'll go from there.

A great example of a a plot can be found in Manfred's "To Die For Love." Perhaps that will give you a good idea on how a plot sub should look.

Again, welcome to the Citadel! Hope to see more from you, and to comment on your completed sub soon! Go to Comment

The healing/merciful weapon has been done before, but this is a lovely twist on it that brings freshness to the idea.

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Steampunk mace! (Well, more complicated than that, but that's the image I get) I love it! Imaginative, well-written, well explained, great imagery. Overall an excellent job. Go to Comment

One of the most thorough of the 30s, for sure. I love the detail.

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Still working out the details here, but I wanted to get what I had out there for your perusal. Suggestions on spells, equipment, noted notables, and RP hooks are all welcome.

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Cool idea, added it.

In theory, any map created by a cartogramancer can be used for appropriate spells for as long as it lasts. Rather than time be the limitation on an instantly created map, I made it accuracy. Go to Comment

Great response, thanks for the suggestions axlerowes.

I wrote most of the spells as they came to me and organized them later. I think a number of them are essentially varities of one another. I'll consider reorganizing and/or synthesize some of the spells.

I'll see if I can flesh out and explain the Mountweazel more.

Hadn't thought about maps at that small a scale. I think I'm geared mostly toward the geographical sorts of maps, but that's an interesting idea to explore.

I considered the timeliness of maps. Like perhaps being able to see the movements of an event that happened a week or even a century before. As for time travel, I feel like it may be out of my intended scope. But then, historical maps are a pretty prominent portion of cartography... It's something I'll have to consider.

My tendency towards subs like these are to provide broad ideas. I'm terrible when it comes to mechanics. :P I saw someone out in the Interwebs created a D&D 3.5 Prestige Class cartogramancer with some mechanics, but they essentially limit the spells to what I called a casting map. If you have suggestions for mechanics, either system-specific or otherwise, I'd be curious.

Again, thanks for the constructive comments. Much obliged! Go to Comment

Okay, finally completed more or less. Thanks for the very helpful comments - I've added and modified what I could from your suggestions. Feel free to comment or add your own suggestions.

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