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7 More Reasons Why Not Everyone is a Magic User
Articles  (Resource)   (Gaming - Genre)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-07 06:02 AM
Magic always has a price. All magic dealings are essentially "deals with the devil" in that they cost the user some part of themselves or something/one they hold dear.

Magic brings age. The reason why wizards always have long, flowing beards? Using magic takes years off of one's life. Powerful users rarely make it past 30.

Magic is socially unacceptable. Sorcerers are more than just feared, they're hated, even hunted. Why risk using magic when you'll wind up cut off from society? Go to Comment
My Taalkastin Boatman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Natural)
Dozus's comment on 2014-04-01 06:32 AM
Any bias of using my own setting aside, I absolutely loved this. The narrative had me riveted from the opening lines to the last, and even though the ending was alluded to in the intro, I was still surprised by it.

You give a better characterization for a brutal, animalistic humanoid than I could have hoped for, as well as built very nicely on the skeleton outline of Swynmoor errata I provided.

Very well done. Go to Comment
Golden Golem
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-24 09:30 PM
The overall idea is eminently practical - a walking deposit box. The profile face thing is pretty clever, too. Go to Comment
Valadaars First Submission Advice
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Citadel Help)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-11 03:10 PM
This is good starter advice. The content suggestions aren't bad, though as you say it's hard to set iron-clad rules for content. A first-time poster would do well to follow this advice.

I'm almost taking the "Self-named Characters" issue as a challenge, since Dozus was one of my first fantasy RP character, but on further review I remember he's a Drizzt clone and better left unspoken of. Go to Comment
The Vile Vial
Items  (Potion)   (Villanous)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-11 03:12 PM
Did you take it from in-work to regular? That spits it out onto the front page.

I think this might have been better left a 100. It's short and kind of fun, but for a full sub it doesn't have a lot to it. Go to Comment
Gravediggers' Legacy
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Combat)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-11 03:16 PM
Sentient shovel sub is a go! I always like animated objects that do their own thing, and this one has a nice background.

It would be interesting if instead of or in addition to burying folk, they dug them up. You go into a cemetery one morning to find all the coffins uncovered, with no trace of the perpetrators. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-04 10:32 AM
Bro, I feel like you're picking a quarrel where there ain't one. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-04 07:30 AM
It does have a nice flow to it, and it's interesting to hear the historical perspective, as it were.

I'm with Silver on the ending. I'm sure it's purposefully ambiguous and the reader is supposed to read between the lines, but it is a bit abrupt. A little more to it would help wrap things up. Go to Comment
7 Royal Courts
Locations  (Establishment)   (Plains)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-28 07:04 PM
I was wondering how you could do seven of these. I figured either you'd have too much detail, something that would need to be in a 30, or too little diversity. But you hit just the right mark. It's a good variety, broad enough to drop into any aristocracy but varied enough to provide very different flavors for the various monarchies a setting might have.

The only typo I see is in #5, which I believe is spelled "Debauched."

This is a great 7: it sates the palette, neither overstuffed nor unsatisfied, but the perfect amount. Well done. Go to Comment
Lescelina the Witch Queen
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Religious)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-26 12:04 PM
I was researching Nahuatl and read a terribly interesting article on disfrasismo (http://celia.cnrs.fr/FichExt/Am/A_22_03.htm). I figured since I was borrowing heavily from Mesoamerican culture for the Kanaarites, I'd try my hand at imitating it. I'm not thrilled with it, but I kind of like the style. Go to Comment
Cosmic Era: Mortal Kombat I Dossier
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Combative)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-02 12:17 PM
I like your treatment/adaptation of this. I for one would want to see more, perhaps of other mythoi. Might I suggest Tekken? They've got some inexplicable characters and techniques I'd like to see Cosmicized.

You said Scorpion was the result of "infernal sorcery." Do you mean *magic* magic, or something else? I don't recall magic being a feature of the Cosmic Era setting, though you'll forgive me if I missed it mentioned in your wide corpus of work. Go to Comment
7 Things About Criticism
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Citadel Help)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-26 07:07 AM
All commentors and submitters should read this monthly to remind themselves what good criticism is, and what to do with criticism. Those periodic times when people forget one or the other tend to cause offense to be taken unnecessarily, and nobody likes that. Go to Comment
30 Judges
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Political)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-26 08:17 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Brotherhood of the Land of Nod
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (Area)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-26 12:11 PM
I was kind of expecting just a Cosmic Era take on C&C, but I really like the direction this one headed. It makes sense for a religious-to-zealous region like the Arabian Peninsula venerate super tech like arcanotechnology.

Interesting that you make it a secret society rather than a militant empire. Are there analogues to al-Qaida and the like, or am I reading too much into it? Go to Comment
30 Mecha Design Flaws
Systems  (Combat/ Warfare)   (General)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-20 09:18 AM
Great details on this one. I like that it's not just mechanical or combat situations but some sociopolitical too. Fits well into your setting, but could be easily modified for others. Go to Comment
Military Clones
NPCs  (Extras-Horde)   (Combative)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-16 06:06 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
The moral compass
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-12 05:39 PM
Oh man, I love little things like this. The background story is great, and the subtle effects of the compass are the perfect thing to throw into a campaign. I can see a player coming to rely on the compass to see what's considered "moral" for a campaign, only to discover her alignment and actions slowly turning darker over time.

The grammar and spelling are a little loose here and there, but I gather English isn't your first tongue and let it slide. It's a great piece, especially given that it's your first. Great work, and I can't wait to see more from you. Go to Comment
The Town of Inexplicable Babies
Locations  (City)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-10 08:02 PM
The image is quite funny, infants appearing out of nowhere. But the details you explore about what might happen in such a society, as well as the how/whys, make it something more interesting. Well done. Go to Comment
Litwell
Locations  (Ruins)   (Plains)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-10 04:08 PM
How interesting! A sad tale, but it would make for an interesting encounter.

I think I'm still a bit lost on the details re: the Litwells current where/whenabouts. Are they just stuck in the past someplace? Do they have to wait 500 years to return? Are they still hanging out with Lucas? Go to Comment
The Blackwings
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Dozus's comment on 2014-02-07 10:18 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
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