It does have a nice flow to it, and it's interesting to hear the historical perspective, as it were.
I'm with Silver on the ending. I'm sure it's purposefully ambiguous and the reader is supposed to read between the lines, but it is a bit abrupt. A little more to it would help wrap things up. Go to Comment
I was wondering how you could do seven of these. I figured either you'd have too much detail, something that would need to be in a 30, or too little diversity. But you hit just the right mark. It's a good variety, broad enough to drop into any aristocracy but varied enough to provide very different flavors for the various monarchies a setting might have.
The only typo I see is in #5, which I believe is spelled "Debauched."
This is a great 7: it sates the palette, neither overstuffed nor unsatisfied, but the perfect amount. Well done. Go to Comment
I was researching Nahuatl and read a terribly interesting article on disfrasismo (http://celia.cnrs.fr/FichExt/Am/A_22_03.htm). I figured since I was borrowing heavily from Mesoamerican culture for the Kanaarites, I'd try my hand at imitating it. I'm not thrilled with it, but I kind of like the style. Go to Comment
I like your treatment/adaptation of this. I for one would want to see more, perhaps of other mythoi. Might I suggest Tekken? They've got some inexplicable characters and techniques I'd like to see Cosmicized.
You said Scorpion was the result of "infernal sorcery." Do you mean *magic* magic, or something else? I don't recall magic being a feature of the Cosmic Era setting, though you'll forgive me if I missed it mentioned in your wide corpus of work. Go to Comment
All commentors and submitters should read this monthly to remind themselves what good criticism is, and what to do with criticism. Those periodic times when people forget one or the other tend to cause offense to be taken unnecessarily, and nobody likes that. Go to Comment
I was kind of expecting just a Cosmic Era take on C&C, but I really like the direction this one headed. It makes sense for a religious-to-zealous region like the Arabian Peninsula venerate super tech like arcanotechnology.
Interesting that you make it a secret society rather than a militant empire. Are there analogues to al-Qaida and the like, or am I reading too much into it? Go to Comment
Oh man, I love little things like this. The background story is great, and the subtle effects of the compass are the perfect thing to throw into a campaign. I can see a player coming to rely on the compass to see what's considered "moral" for a campaign, only to discover her alignment and actions slowly turning darker over time.
The grammar and spelling are a little loose here and there, but I gather English isn't your first tongue and let it slide. It's a great piece, especially given that it's your first. Great work, and I can't wait to see more from you. Go to Comment
The image is quite funny, infants appearing out of nowhere. But the details you explore about what might happen in such a society, as well as the how/whys, make it something more interesting. Well done. Go to Comment
How interesting! A sad tale, but it would make for an interesting encounter.
I think I'm still a bit lost on the details re: the Litwells current where/whenabouts. Are they just stuck in the past someplace? Do they have to wait 500 years to return? Are they still hanging out with Lucas? Go to Comment
I think this is great. Making golems out of non-standard stuff isn't brand new, but this take on it has a good story, good mechanics, and is just a good idea over all. Great first sub, Pete. Go to Comment
Are the limits on the length of time this spell is active? Say in a city in the midst of a barbarian sacking, a wizard enchants a bunch of random junk of his as trash golem seeds. Would adventurers rediscovering the city a century or more later find roving trash golems guarding the place?
What about size? Could a golem seed that gets thrown into a junk yard assemble all debris around it into a giant trash golem? Given their regeneration ability, such a golem would be extremely difficult to bring down.
I can see a sort of street wizard-thief using this spell to stalk prey in the night, having trash golems jump out from alleyways and mug passerby. Go to Comment
This is a logical, if daunting progression from our Information Age into the Cosmic Age. I like the sort of mystery of the unformatted beyond and the hidden presence of arcanotech.
Looking over the themes, it's interesting that only Necessity makes the CogNet really, well, necessary. The rest are manipulation of human urges and mass media. Not unlike the Internet of today, I suppose.
You mention that the poor Netizens lack the luxury of rich real goods, enjoying only synthetic stuff. I wonder what the demographics of the CogNet are; or, more specifically, how many people of the Cosmic Age have access? The most recent stat I have on modern day Internet access is only about 34% world wide; does the ubiquity of the CogNet mean a larger percentage of the population are on the Net, or is it still a limited number who are in very deep?
One typo I noticed in the second full paragraph of Behind the Curtains: "Humans who enter the CogNet enter do so by..."
All in all, an very interesting take on the future of the Web, and the addition of other Cosmic Era lore makes it quite unique. Go to Comment