This is one of the first posts I remember reading here before officially joining the Citadel. Then, as now, it brought a smile to my face. When spinning tales and crafting the lore of worlds unforged, I often have a tendency to wax grandiose -- Behold! Spires of shimmering glass, trees of silver glittering in the moonlight! All very pretty, to be sure, but oftentimes completely unecessary. In its humble simplicity, this place touches the heart. It's a lesson that I'll strive to remember whenever one of my ideas needs better grounding.
A well-written, sympathetic ghost story. The people in it really come alive (pardon the pun), and I love the history of the man and his wife. That said, I can't get over the fact that the wife, who is supposedly a simple peasant woman, was mummified and placed into a special crypt under the town. It just seems out of place, and breaks me out of my suspension of disbelief. If I were going to use this in a campaign, I'd probably raise the status of the man and wife to at least lesser nobility so that I could justify the elaborate burial at the end.
I like this. Thimunai is a deity who is hard to hate if you know her backstory, which makes her a compelling villain. I certainly hope that she can be reasoned with. Perhaps if she were to receive a willing sacrifice of a different sort, something that would make her question her tastes or even recoil in horror . . .
Jumping Nails: Like centipede nails, they can be hammered into the bottom of an object. When commanded to jump, they will release a spring-loaded that will propel the item they are attached to upwards. Jumping nails function similarly to centipede nails, in that the more you attach the more jumping power you get. In addition, they can be used alone (usually as a joke) or in combination with centipede nails (they will curl up out of the way, so that they don't create drag or obstruct the centipede nails in any way).Go to Comment
In a word or three: I love this. It's fun, as simple or complex as you need it to be, and the twist at the end is nasty. However, I must agree with valadaar that relying on the PCs to be master architects is a pitfall. My current group is a wizard, a druid and a rogue (NPC) -- no real fodder for the plot hook to work.
It's possible for the party to answer an advertisement for the job, and then bluff their way into winning the contract. It's also possible that it could be a case of mistaken identity (the master builders weren't in court at the appointed hour, and the nervous butler ushers the PCs into the audience without asking too many questions). Or what about another contest, of sorts -- to choose the architects for the maze?
In short, I love the premise but would really like to see some more plot hooks to help bring this into an ongoing game.
Alright, so my party's mage is probably not ethical enough right now for me to pull this off, but who knows where he'll be in 9 months of game time? I'm probably voting it higher than I normally would for such a short submission, but it is so perfect for my needs, so easily adaptable and so much fun, that I have to. Thanks for the idea -- and the evil grin.
I like the mini-plot associated with her. I would definitely make the motivation of the enigmatic third party a little deeper than pure lust -- probably a power play by a savvy duke who wants Ari out of the way, or a plot by the bastard son of the Queen's consort, who believes that he should be entitled to rule.