Strolen\s Citadel content. 
A Cupid for Cornelius
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Dossta's comment on 2012-04-11 12:17 PM
Good point, Omega! If I ever get around to rewriting this one, I will definitely want to flesh out the dragon lairs. I really like your suggestions, so would you be OK with me using them (and possibly modifying them) in the sub?

Also, this gives me a great idea for another 30s submission . . . Go to Comment
A Cupid for Cornelius
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Dossta's comment on 2013-03-19 11:50 AM
Actually did this at one point, but it came out as a set of 10 instead of 30. Will try to do another 20 at some point.

10 Dragon Lairs, Denizens and Hoards Go to Comment
Things Are Not Always As They Seem
Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Gaming - In General)
Dossta's comment on 2011-01-14 01:07 PM

A lesson to us all.

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30 Bardic Tales
Items  (Art and Music)   (Non-Magical)
Dossta's comment on 2011-01-12 12:56 PM

This is a great resource.  There are a few spelling and grammar errors ("faced paced" instead of "fast paced", forgetting to use apostrophies with possessives), but it is so useful that I'm still giving it a 5/5.  Well done!

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True Fear
Articles  (Fiction)   (Game Mastering)
Dossta's comment on 2011-01-13 02:36 PM
Withholding my vote for now. I will PM you with the reason in a bit. Go to Comment
The Sanguine Mist
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
Dossta's comment on 2011-01-12 05:08 PM

Very clear guide on what price is paid for each type of dream.  I like Echo's idea of the mist helping an individual with a huge dream -- perhaps destruction of a whole race/kingdom, or something similarly epic.  It could follow him around, sticking to his flesh as parts of the plan fall together in stages, the man losing more and more of his sanity as time goes on.  With the mist billowing out behind him, he'd probably be heralded as a mad prophet/sage/wizard and gain a following.

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Chiros: Savage Messiah
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-31 12:15 AM

I must say that you surprised me with this, Mystic.  As I was reading the description of Chiros' appearance and personality, I was preparing myself for another stereotypical lich -- a vast, hidden power who acts through proxies.  Instead, we have a vastly successful con-man masquerading as a holy figure.  Love the parallels to Chrisitanity.

He is a little uber, imo, so adding a few weaknesses (even just flaws in his personality that could be exploited) would help.  Introducing some plot hooks or other important NPCs who are close to him would also increase the value of this post.  But overall, there is very little for me to criticize here, and much to praise.  Well done!

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Gnomes of the Singing Wood
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-24 09:59 PM

Inspired by this old thread: Dark Gnomish Evil or how to improve a hopeless race

I still feel as though these guys are missing something, but can't think of what to add at present.  Please feel free to suggest improvements or add ideas.

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Gnomes of the Singing Wood
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-24 11:51 PM
I like it. In this case, I would lean towards combining druidic magic with bardic to fit the whole musical forest theme a bit better. I wonder how that magic will be affected if they travel outside The Singing Wood, though. Go to Comment
Gnomes of the Singing Wood
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-27 11:30 AM
No problem, Mystic. I really liked your flute, and figured that if it had been "lost in a forest", that it might as well be The Singing Wood. And if you really help the gnomes out, who knows? They might give it to you as a reward . . . Go to Comment
Megan Sharwan
NPCs  (Extras)   (Knowledge/Lore)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-23 01:25 PM

I like her.  Like Siren said, she's pretty standard fare, but the back-story was a well-written and enjoyable read.  The main issue I have with this piece is probably inherent in the setting, but . . . how can a pair of elves produce a human child?  That really messes with my suspension of disbelief.  Was she really switched at birth?  Adopted, but her parents didn't want to admit it later?  Some explanation there would be helpful.

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Megan Sharwan
NPCs  (Extras)   (Knowledge/Lore)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-23 02:11 PM
Ah, now I see. Those two lines helped a lot, so thanks for the update. Go to Comment
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Mountains)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-22 04:24 PM

Huh.  This reminds me a little of the Forsaken from World of Warcraft.  With the Graveborns' xenophobic nature, I wonder to what extent their culture revolves around "kill the living!"

Solid idea, but needs fleshing out (as others have said).  Will withhold my vote for now.

(p.s. Welcome to the Citadel!)

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The Majestic Silver Oak
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-22 04:18 PM

Beautiful tree with evocative imagery.  I will definitely rip this out and put it into my own world, one day.  I like that the girl died *without* wishing for revenge -- how novel!

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Ithyqonian Frost Giants
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-22 03:39 PM

An interesting culture, though a bad one to spring on PCs who like wearing gaudily-colored adventuring outfits.  Perhaps a little bit of warning from the townfolk would be in order before the PCs set out into the wilderness.  Also, the rime-fire intrigues me.  Could some frost-giant blood be"harvested" and kept in a vial for later use?  Would be fun to use it as an impromptu grenade . . .

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The Lost Flute of Jasloff
Items  (Art and Music)   (Magical)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-22 03:12 PM

A fine first submission, Mystic.  I especially like the drawbacks to using the flute poorly -- fae can be dangerous when angered, but I bet that you could still talk your way out of serious trouble.  This is also a nice reminder that an item need not be ornate or auspicious to be magical.

A few thoughts:

The paragraph you spent on how the item passed from hand to hand makes for an interesting read, but adds little to the overall piece.  After hearing how the flute parted company with its creator, all we really need to know is that it changed hands many times before being lost in a forest.  This is a minor nitpick; you wouldn't need to cut it out unless you were planning on greatly expanding this piece.  At that point, it would become an unnecessary extra.

This would be fun to combine with axlerowe's Magical Songs.

Overall, I like this item enough that I may have to use this in an upcoming submission as a quest reward.

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Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-16 12:17 PM

I've been waiting awhile to comment on this one because I've been trying to let it grow on me.  The idea is interesting -- a bit munchkin-y, to be honest -- but I can see that it would work if you had good rules for blocking with shields in your game system. 

What puts me off is really its construction.  These are dwarves, right?  For a weapon-returning shield I would have expected a more . . . mechanical solution.  Maybe something that slingshots the missile around the dwarf and back at their foe.  Maybe something that uses magnetic forces.  The shamanistic rock substance didn't really do it for me.

Now, I can imagine a sort of "portable portal" variant of this that might make sense (though probably not for dwarves).  Instead of a rock that actually sucks the spear out of someone's hands, the shield could be a two-way portal that will simply reflect the attack back out.  The enemy would still be holding onto his end of the spear, but the pointy end would now be coming at his chest.  No sucking force at all, and no reason the weapon couldn't be half-out, half-in. 

Just my 2c.  Even if you didn't change the construction or effects of this shield in any way, it could still use some expansion.

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The Becoming
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Dossta's comment on 2010-12-04 10:11 AM

If I were to judge this on writing alone, it would easily be a 5.  The imagery is fantastic, the voice consistent and the story thrilling.  I mean, wow.

I like the monster, but I feel like some key information is missing here.  Reading the other two linked subs helps, but the picture is still incomplete.  I understand that the Elib is an extra-dimensional creature that is capable of taking a human host.  Based off of that, here are my key assumptions, and please correct me if I'm wrong:

1. The movie Croatan II is one of the devices capable of "exploiting dimensional science theorems"

2.  Watching this movie . . . what?  Attracts the attention of Elibs?  Sucks one into this reality without its consent?  Opens an extra-dimensional portal?

That's where it falls over.  I would like to know exactly how one Becomes, if there is any way to return someone who has to normal, and how much sharing there is of the body between host and monster.  Does Karl ever regain control?  When he does, does he return to a normal-looking human?

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30+ Dwarven Gifts
Items  (Other)   (Heroic)
Dossta's comment on 2013-05-17 05:01 PM
I'd forgotten about this one! I agree that it's sort of a mixed bag, but for a GM who is strapped for time, there are some good ideas here. Go to Comment
30 Prophecies
Articles  (Resource)   (Game Mastering)
Dossta's comment on 2010-11-23 12:25 AM

In the final years of the reign of the Weeping King, the Phoenix shall rise once again to claim his inheritance.  Much will be destroyed in the fires of his rebirth, and the unliving may be made whole again.  But hark!  That which is unborn may yet be altered through the choice of the Virgin, for the course of his flames are not yet set.  Take heed, lest the fires of his passage consume the whole world.

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       By: ilya

While traversing the tractless deserts of Shezmu, the pc's come across a travelling caravan led by Vual, the Demon-Camel, the Lord of Lust, the Thrice-Humped...Vual is cursed to only be able to assume one form outside the Abyss, that of a rather large, golden-skinned three-humped camel,with a frog-like, black, barbed tongue......

Vual is the demonic manifestation of Lust...his followers, a cult of truly disturbed individuals, engage in bizarre orgies, travelling the desert towns, "entertaining" the desert folk with their perverse antics...

Vual's Rapture is what the cultists call their monthly festival, where they perform perverse rites to honor Vual...ofcourse folk come from great distances to witness the festivals, despite themselves, and the Cult of Vual welcomes all...

Surprisingly for such a hideous creature, Vual has the power to beguile and charm with his magical voice. His voice will always sound to pcs as the voice of the person they most desire...his followers also gain this ability slowly over time...

When the pc's meet with Vual, he tries to seduce them into joining his cult. If for whatever reason the pc's resist..well then... Vual would probably kill them for sport, as a lesson for those who "resist Vual's love"....

Encounter  ( Other ) | January 27, 2005 | View | UpVote 1xp