Very clear guide on what price is paid for each type of dream. I like Echo's idea of the mist helping an individual with a huge dream -- perhaps destruction of a whole race/kingdom, or something similarly epic. It could follow him around, sticking to his flesh as parts of the plan fall together in stages, the man losing more and more of his sanity as time goes on. With the mist billowing out behind him, he'd probably be heralded as a mad prophet/sage/wizard and gain a following.
I must say that you surprised me with this, Mystic. As I was reading the description of Chiros' appearance and personality, I was preparing myself for another stereotypical lich -- a vast, hidden power who acts through proxies. Instead, we have a vastly successful con-man masquerading as a holy figure. Love the parallels to Chrisitanity.
He is a little uber, imo, so adding a few weaknesses (even just flaws in his personality that could be exploited) would help. Introducing some plot hooks or other important NPCs who are close to him would also increase the value of this post. But overall, there is very little for me to criticize here, and much to praise. Well done!
Inspired by this old thread: Dark Gnomish Evil or how to improve a hopeless race
I still feel as though these guys are missing something, but can't think of what to add at present. Please feel free to suggest improvements or add ideas.
I like her. Like Siren said, she's pretty standard fare, but the back-story was a well-written and enjoyable read. The main issue I have with this piece is probably inherent in the setting, but . . . how can a pair of elves produce a human child? That really messes with my suspension of disbelief. Was she really switched at birth? Adopted, but her parents didn't want to admit it later? Some explanation there would be helpful.
Huh. This reminds me a little of the Forsaken from World of Warcraft. With the Graveborns' xenophobic nature, I wonder to what extent their culture revolves around "kill the living!"
Solid idea, but needs fleshing out (as others have said). Will withhold my vote for now.
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An interesting culture, though a bad one to spring on PCs who like wearing gaudily-colored adventuring outfits. Perhaps a little bit of warning from the townfolk would be in order before the PCs set out into the wilderness. Also, the rime-fire intrigues me. Could some frost-giant blood be"harvested" and kept in a vial for later use? Would be fun to use it as an impromptu grenade . . .
A fine first submission, Mystic. I especially like the drawbacks to using the flute poorly -- fae can be dangerous when angered, but I bet that you could still talk your way out of serious trouble. This is also a nice reminder that an item need not be ornate or auspicious to be magical.
A few thoughts:
The paragraph you spent on how the item passed from hand to hand makes for an interesting read, but adds little to the overall piece. After hearing how the flute parted company with its creator, all we really need to know is that it changed hands many times before being lost in a forest. This is a minor nitpick; you wouldn't need to cut it out unless you were planning on greatly expanding this piece. At that point, it would become an unnecessary extra.
This would be fun to combine with axlerowe's Magical Songs.
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Overall, I like this item enough that I may have to use this in an upcoming submission as a quest reward.
I've been waiting awhile to comment on this one because I've been trying to let it grow on me. The idea is interesting -- a bit munchkin-y, to be honest -- but I can see that it would work if you had good rules for blocking with shields in your game system.
What puts me off is really its construction. These are dwarves, right? For a weapon-returning shield I would have expected a more . . . mechanical solution. Maybe something that slingshots the missile around the dwarf and back at their foe. Maybe something that uses magnetic forces. The shamanistic rock substance didn't really do it for me.
Now, I can imagine a sort of "portable portal" variant of this that might make sense (though probably not for dwarves). Instead of a rock that actually sucks the spear out of someone's hands, the shield could be a two-way portal that will simply reflect the attack back out. The enemy would still be holding onto his end of the spear, but the pointy end would now be coming at his chest. No sucking force at all, and no reason the weapon couldn't be half-out, half-in.
Just my 2c. Even if you didn't change the construction or effects of this shield in any way, it could still use some expansion.
If I were to judge this on writing alone, it would easily be a 5. The imagery is fantastic, the voice consistent and the story thrilling. I mean, wow.
I like the monster, but I feel like some key information is missing here. Reading the other two linked subs helps, but the picture is still incomplete. I understand that the Elib is an extra-dimensional creature that is capable of taking a human host. Based off of that, here are my key assumptions, and please correct me if I'm wrong:
1. The movie Croatan II is one of the devices capable of "exploiting dimensional science theorems"
2. Watching this movie . . . what? Attracts the attention of Elibs? Sucks one into this reality without its consent? Opens an extra-dimensional portal?
That's where it falls over. I would like to know exactly how one Becomes, if there is any way to return someone who has to normal, and how much sharing there is of the body between host and monster. Does Karl ever regain control? When he does, does he return to a normal-looking human?
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In the final years of the reign of the Weeping King, the Phoenix shall rise once again to claim his inheritance. Much will be destroyed in the fires of his rebirth, and the unliving may be made whole again. But hark! That which is unborn may yet be altered through the choice of the Virgin, for the course of his flames are not yet set. Take heed, lest the fires of his passage consume the whole world.
Ha! You beat me to it. I've been thinking about making a post like this for awhile, but couldn't come up with a full 30 prophecies to include. Rest assured that I will be adding some to this, as I hope many people do. A wide variety of "prophets" would make for the most useful material.