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30 Dragon-Related Plots and Encounters
Plots  (Coincidence)   (Encounter)
Dossta's comment on 2012-07-09 05:46 PM
Update: Added titles to make the list easier to read. Go to Comment
The Ocular Court
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Trans World)
Dossta's comment on 2011-04-13 02:46 PM


I'll be the first to say that this is a really original pantheon, and I'm surprised that it works so well.  However, I wish that Hyewmor was a little better defined.  You tell us that he's the enemy of the rest of the Occular Court, but he's little different from any other "bad god" that I've seen in RPGs -- as far as I can tell, he's motivated purely by "teh Evuls".



I would have made him the god of blindness, expect that Opstiscus fills that roll so nicely.  So perhaps he could be the god of false sight -- delusions, mirages, eye diseases and the like.  Depicting him as completely and irrevocably insane would also jive a bit better with his actions after birth.



Remember that these are just my thoughts -- I truly don't want to detract from the pure originality of this piece.  Right now, this is a solid 3 for me, with + .5 for pure creativity.  Well done!


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Submission Respect
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Citadel Help)
Dossta's comment on 2010-11-01 03:52 PM


Found myself nodding my head many times while reading the sub, and many more while reading the comments.  Here are my 2c:



1. Sometimes when I read a submission to the end, I'll find that I really have nothing to say about it.  This is typical of subs that are written well and have a solid idea that is fleshed out to some extent but, for whatever reason, didn't really inspire me.  I don't hate these subs, but I don't really like them either.  This is not an excuse -- I should probably give the author at least a 3 vote in these cases -- but I hate to bring a sub in the 4/5 range down a few pegs because I feel lukewarm about it.



2. Thanking someone for posting on Strolen's is a nice gesture, but doesn't really provide any constructive feedback.  If you liked the sub, at least point out what you liked about it.  Same for what you disliked or would change.



At the end, this is an inspiring submission that carries a much-needed reminder.  I'll have to start making an effort to post on the uncommented/unvoted subs more often.


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30 Ways To Be A Good Strolenite
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Gaming - In General)
Dossta's comment on 2012-06-27 02:44 PM
I come back to this occasionally, and it is still sound advice. Have an HoH, and my patented "Smashing Sub of the Day" award. Go to Comment
The Crowns of Glory
Items  (Jewelry)   (Campaign Defining)
Dossta's comment on 2011-04-25 05:43 PM


Now, this is a sub that I would love to see turned into a book one day.  It's too bad that the complete subjugation of Asleanna didn't have any impact on the crown itself, though; I would have liked her death to make more of a mark.  Though I suppose that her will would have been returned to her with the King's death?  Hmmmm.  Wonder if she managed to get away?


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The Crowns of Glory
Items  (Jewelry)   (Campaign Defining)
Dossta's comment on 2012-12-06 01:03 PM
The whole concept is brilliant, and can be approached from so many different angles. I think that the story of the original crown -- the mad king and his descendants -- should probably be left as part of the world history, just because it's so vast in scope. So in answer . . . I would like to read a series in which these crowns are coming back into play, and the heroes have to deal with the aftermath. Will they hide the crowns, destroy them, or try to claim them for "the greater good"? Seriously, please write this book! Go to Comment
The Crowns of Glory
Items  (Jewelry)   (Campaign Defining)
Dossta's comment on 2012-12-06 01:08 PM

Plot Hook -- Campaign Starter:

Everyone in the party has been forced to give up a part of their power to one of the Crowned.  Perhaps the evil king has been "recruiting" recently, and the PCs were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Not only do the players potentially lose something vital from their character sheets, their characters' health and vitality may also be continually sapped as they adventure.  Will they be able to bring the bastard down with a key part of their abilities missing?  Or will their biological clocks run out first?

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30 Books from the Fallen Library
Items  (Books and Scrolls)   (Non-Magical)
Dossta's comment on 2011-04-19 05:59 PM


Very, very nice.  The only reason that this is not receiving a 5 from me is because some of the ideas are too closely related to really count as separate entries (in my opinion, which should always be taken with a grain of salt).  To illustrate, the following three entries all deal with religious texts that contradict current practices:



Arzhang: The holy scripture of a major religion, long lost and passed down only in oral tradition.  It may have sections contradicting in whole or in part current practice (which may have been corrupted in transmission), or detailing rites that have been forgotten, however consonant they may be with contemporary beliefs.



Book of the Watchers: A religious tome telling a familiar tale, well known to adherents of the dominant faith - so much so that the faithful all recognize the familiar phraseology, and many can recite sections from memory - but with numerous differences, in cadence, plot and characterization.



Gnostic Bible: An entire book - or collection of chapters, tales and/or essays - devoted to one of the world’s leading faiths ... and which completely contradict several major doctrines of that faith, or introduce doctrines hitherto unknown to it.  The work may have been excised from the canon centuries ago as apocryphal.



Instead of contradicting, could one of these books have been used to offer compelling evidence of the factual basis of a dominant faith?  What about a retelling of a major historical event, taking into account the direct actions of the gods/Chosen One that has been ruthlessly suppressed for centuries by the decidedly non-religious Empire?



On a different not entirely, I absolutely loved many of these entries -- especially Contes de la Mere Oye.  That could kick off a particularly creepy campaign, in which the voices and songs of children are the vessel or powersource needed to bring back an Elder Evil, or somesuch.  Well done, overall. 4/5


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Dust of Sages
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Underground)
Dossta's comment on 2012-10-06 05:19 PM
I would really love to see you expand on this one, Pieh. This is an idea with a lot of potential and it would be great to read more about it. Go to Comment
The Barrows of the Forest Lords
Dungeons  (Forest/ Jungle)   (Puzzles)
Dossta's comment on 2011-04-13 07:20 AM


Interesting setup.  Forcing the players to stand alone like this could provide for some good gameplay, but I would still probably tweak it a bit to give my players the option of seeking more help.  Perhaps the barrier could allow a second player (or third) through if the subject of the test requested it?  There should be a significant penalty or other alteration to the test to make the first player hesitate to do this, however.  I would probably also remove the barrier against sound entirely, so that the rest of the party can at least stand by and shout advice, thus remaining more involved.



A few other small nitpicks: challenges one and two (judging the baby case and dealing with the live baby) are significantly easier than the rest of them, and might cause a party to cry foul when faced with the later challenges.  Also, you forgot to include the answers to the three riddles.



Overall though, well done.


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The Blade of Intuition
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Dossta's comment on 2011-04-22 12:21 PM


First off, I must say that I like the idea of this blade a lot.  After all, what better way is there for a GM to give the party hints or point out the (blindingly obvious) clues that they always seem to miss?  However, I would really like it to be a little better defined.



I think my main stumbling block is the source of the "hunches" or "ideas" that a PC gets.  Does the player have to state the hunch out loud?  Does the GM assign them based on a random dice roll, perhaps modified by the character's intelligence?  Does the sword get these hunches on its own?



Without a clear idea of the hunch that the sword is trying to prove, I think that a player could become lost really quickly, not understanding what the sword is supposed to be doing.  If this central concept is codified a bit more cleanly, this submission would easily move from a 4 to a 5 in my mind.


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The Lost Imperial City
Dungeons  (Plains)   (Rooms/ Halls)
Dossta's comment on 2011-04-26 09:59 AM


I enjoyed this adventure, and can appreciate the work that went into the atmospheric descriptions.  It nicely complements your other quest submission.  I will, however, agree with Pieh about the hopelessness for the PCs at certain parts.  The snakes, especially, are a difficult conundrum, and I would probably omit them if I were going to run this.


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Corran's Cooking Set
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Magical)
Dossta's comment on 2013-05-28 04:18 PM
I enjoy Corran's various creations (and mishaps). Magic items should be created with a purpose in mind, and more of them should have mundane purposes like this. Go to Comment
Corran's Cooking Set
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Magical)
Dossta's comment on 2013-06-03 01:27 PM
Corran's Coffee Spoons:

A natural outgrowth of Corran's culinary experimentation, the coffee spoons were created as quick gifts to give to friends and as wedding favors for his marriage to Bethany. Coffee spoons come in a variety of flavors, but are distinguishable via a small engraving set into the handle of each elaborately worked silver teaspoon.

SC: Sugar and cream
CC: Cinnamon-chocolate
VC: Vanilla-caramel
RC: Rum and cream

The second "C" in every variety doubles as Corran's initial. Using a coffee spoon has the added benefit of purifying and mellowing the coffee it is used on -- even the harshest brew becomes smooth and palatable after a few good stirs. Poisons are also completely neutralized. Go to Comment
The Lost Empire
Locations  (World)   (Any)
Dossta's comment on 2011-04-26 09:44 AM


Pretty much everything has been said already; it's an interesting premise and a solid submission.  I especially liked the writing for the internal dialogs of each character, because they really make it come alive.  I actually feel bad for the wizards, though my normal inclination would be to dismiss them entirely as arrogant fools.  Well done!


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30 Street Crimes and Cons
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Dossta's comment on 2011-03-14 01:33 PM


This is an incredibly useful 30s list.  In fact, it will be my go-to resource as both a DM and as a player (when I want to earn a little extra dough as a rogue).  The only suggestion I have for improvement would be to tack on a few more one-man cons, as most of these require several people to pull off.  The added ideas by rwg are neat, and I hope to add to this list sometime in the future.  Well done!


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The intertwining of Time and Music
Plots  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Dossta's comment on 2011-02-28 01:19 PM


A fairly standard ghost story; as is, it doesn't really speak to me.  Still, you did a lot with your 250-word limit, and I suppose that I can't really expect loads of detail with those kinds of strictures.  Perhaps if you ran it with the right accompanying soundtrack, this piece would really have the chance to shine.



May I humbly suggest:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGRO05WcNDk



or possibly



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZJt-oWDD7U


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A Cupid for Cornelius
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Dossta's comment on 2011-02-26 11:44 PM
Ha! I had just assumed that the party would call it quits after their first success, but I can imagine them pressing on under the right circumstances. Perhaps I should add a third conclusion to cover that eventuality. Honestly, I think that the females would kill Cornelius outright for the insult to their dignity, then go after the players, but that might be a bit harsh.

The imp or other familiar is a nice touch. I might keep that in mind, if the party is having too easy of a time of it. Go to Comment
A Cupid for Cornelius
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Dossta's comment on 2012-04-11 11:12 AM
Thanks, axlerowes. I'd love to see what you did with it sometime! I agree that the adventure is a bit linear, but it was meant to be a quickie 1 or 2 session romp for some new players. It could definitely be elaborated on. Go to Comment
A Cupid for Cornelius
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Dossta's comment on 2012-04-11 11:17 AM
Good point, Omega! If I ever get around to rewriting this one, I will definitely want to flesh out the dragon lairs. I really like your suggestions, so would you be OK with me using them (and possibly modifying them) in the sub?

Also, this gives me a great idea for another 30s submission . . . Go to Comment
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