A good, solid location to use for a lowbie adventure or two, though not a brilliant one. Aside from the singing noise (which I really liked), the mine doesn't really strike me as an interesting or unusual location, which is probably why it feels like something is missing here. The dangers you included are helpful and logical -- just not horribly original.
It's hard to think of new plot hooks that revolve around a mine, but it would be nice to see a few here. It would give us a better understanding of your vision for the place. Adding in some NPCs, terrain hazards and other unique features would also help to spice it up.
I cannot say enough good things about this sub. The deity, the assassins' guild & their equipment would have all made fine subs on their own! I especially liked the Marionette strings and the mythos/motivations of the Laughing God and his cult.
If I could think of one thing to improve or expand upon (in maybe another sub), it would be to have a little more detail on the circus itself. Simply because I like circuses, especially ones with a nice, dark theme. Could be a great writeup for a 5-room dungeon, the goal being to uncover the truth about the Angels, retrieve a killing contract before it's handed over to them, etc.
5/5, and my patented "Smashing Sub of the Day" award. Have an HoH as well!
Perhaps consider breaking this up into two different articles -- one that expands on Toothsit and the other on Curthus. You could then expand them into full location subs, adding plot hooks, NPCs and other reasons to base adventures in those locales. Or, you could simply leave them as impressions. Curthus is a good candidate for a "City Image" article (look up the originals by MoonHunter for ideas).
There's a large draw to this submission. A vastid-contaminated water source would be a perfect test for those of druidic or clerical sensibilities, and could be a coveted research location for a wizard or scholar. My only suggestions are to clean up the formatting (as PoisonAlchemist suggested) and to add some plot hooks at the end to help a GM immediately throw this into his/her game as a side quest. That's would just be icing though -- well done!
This is an exquisite item, and a very original weapon. However, I feel that the item itself could use a little more description, and the backstory as written is really confusing. Who is Gen? Who is the lady that Devorak falls in love with during exile? And what did Hestor mean to him anyway? The dialog is good, but there is just not enough context given to allow comprehension of the major events. I love this item, but will withold my vote for awhile to give you the chance to clear up or remove the backstory.
A good central concept for a believable sailors' purgatory. I agree that it could be rewritten slightly for greater clarity, but it didn't bother me that much. I wonder how intelligent the crabs are -- they almost seem like a sort of celestial being in disguise. Overall, well done :) Definitely consider submitting this to AG's A New Take on Hell.
Bloody brilliant. I have to wonder though at the culture that routinely enchants common currency. The image of vast clouds of glittering coins zooming from one end of the kingdom to another is mind-bendingly cool, but that is a LOT of wizards to employ at the royal mint. Still, what better way to emphasize the wealth and grandeur of a city than to show it all, swirling just out of reach?
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But here's a puzzler: if the coins avoid obstacles, why would flying be dangerous? Shouldn't they just part around the flying object and go on their merry way?
Welcome, OmegaDraco, and congratulations on your first submission. I personally found the item stats to be a useful addition, but agree that the comments section is the best place for them on this site. It's a very flavorful item, and I definitely give you full marks for the backstory and the descriptive writing.
However, I'm always a little leery of uber powerful items like this one. If I were going to use this in my campaign, I would either take out its ability to transform the user into a crystal dragon (except under very special circumstances), or find a way for the Arbiter to leave the player's possession after awhile.
Summary: this is a good, solid submission (3.0) + 0.5 for the added stats.
You have a good point there, one that I missed because I haven't used an intelligent item in game yet. I must say, the idea of a sword turning on the wielder because of a disagreement in ethics just makes me smile. I'd be sorely tempted to give this sword a bit of a . . . caustic personality as well, one that makes the player almost relieved when they part company after the big bad is dealt with.
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Does anyone else think that an Intelligent Items quest would be a good idea? I'm perversely interested to see what deviousness the rest of the Citadel would come up with.
You know, I really like the concept here. It isn't wildly different from your standard demonic pact, but I don't really mind. I like how you took a relatively simple idea (sorcerous magic comes from a possessing spirit) and really fleshed it out to fit within your world. Well done, and thanks for the enjoyable read.
I quite like it, because I can imagine several characters that would use one of these as their weapon of choice. My favorite is a paladin, of course, because feeling the pain of those one fights would help moderate the paladin's blood lust, as well as create compassion for the enemy even in the heat of battle.