Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Encounter Suit
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Dossta's comment on 2013-03-04 01:42 PM
You had me at "Power Ranger Suit". Who wouldn't want one of these? It would be kinda like gaining some of the powers of Iron Man on the cheap, yet still discrete enough to wear under your clothing. If you wear bright colors, it may not even stand out that much. If you're not going for full power armor, this is exactly how futuristic armor should look and feel. Go to Comment
Vodai, the White Child
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Dossta's comment on 2013-03-12 04:27 PM
Have you used this guy in play yet? I'd love to hear how it went. As for the sub itself, it's a very solid concept, with little room for improvement. The only part I twitched a nose at is when you said he "shouldn't be hard to kill." If your fat boils when you approach him and your hands gouge out your own eyes, I'd think he'd be difficult to even get near, much less kill. Go to Comment
7 Things About Writing for the Cosmic Era
Articles  (Setting Building)   (Gaming - Genre)
Dossta's comment on 2013-03-08 01:23 PM
Well deserving of a 5. It provides the detail needed to explore each of the setting's major themes, yet doesn't overstay its welcome. What a splendidly horrible world you have built, Scras. I wish more settings had a guide like this. Go to Comment
Nipponism
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (World Wide)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-16 01:35 PM
A good general (future) history of a modern country and its effect on culture. Submission links provided by your friendly neighborhood Weavers Guild :) Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-01 09:08 PM
I wanted to leave this as separate since one is an NPC and one is a life-form. However, I agree that this needs more detail and adding in some of the autobiographical stuff about the Six is a great idea. Will modify soon! Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-02 10:26 AM
Update: Taking Scras's advice to heart here. I would definitely love to expand this sub with details about the original Six monsters created by Maire (see Mother Monster), but am drawing a bit of a blank. I would like to keep the Gaelic-sounding naming scheme for them, but am otherwise throwing this one open to the community. Looking for some ideas to work with. Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-09 03:17 PM
Update: Still working on this one, but I didn't want to lose my changes. Throwing this one back out there with a partial edit. I think that the first part needs a cleanup as well, to better explain the nuts and bolts of how a Monster works. Is there anything that was really confusing to you all on your first read-through? Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-09 06:39 PM
Update: Still need plot hooks for the youngest, but am running dry for today. If anyone has suggestions for Iseabal (or any of the others), please let me know! Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-10 02:10 PM
Update: Now I just need to reformat the first part a little. Thanks to caesar193 for the plot hook idea. Go to Comment
Maire's Monsters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-10 03:06 PM
Update: Out wit' ye! Go to Comment
Maddux
Systems  (Geological/ Geographical)   (Defining)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-11 11:56 AM
You gave a very good visual description of how to picture the Maddux -- seems like something that a professor would use to help his students conceptualize the strangeness in some magical college. Thinking of it like an unusual weather phenomenon is a good tactic. If it is a very long-running thing, I can imagine charity groups or government programs designed to provide "Maddux relief" for the victims of a bad "pop".

I can also imagine villagers making all kinds of crazy preparations besides boarding up their houses and businesses. Perhaps fencing in their fields, or leaving first-aid supplies in easily accessible places, or even tying all of their tools and sharp implements together firmly. Can you imagine a party walking into town during the middle of the storm of activity, wondering why the farmer is muzzling his cows? Go to Comment
Sengur of the Warkra
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-14 11:19 AM
You, sir, are a bloody good writer and probably a better GM than myself. In the end, I should probably stop commenting on NPC write-ups until I've written more than one or two myself :P

Let me rephrase:

There is more detail here than *I* could use in an average game. That is not a failing of the sub or of the NPC, but of my abilities as a game master. That doesn't meant the sub needs any less detail, just that I probably wouldn't use it all.

As for backstory, I think it's important in an NPC, because it tells me what that NPC is likely to talk about. Backstory is a quick and dirty tool that helps me see where an NPC is coming from, so I can infer what they will do now.

What do I look for in NPCs? I'm not a good person to ask, really, 'cause I'm a pretty inexperienced GM. But the best resource I've probably seen to date is Masks by Engine Publishing. It's quick, to the point, which makes the NPCs easy for a newbie to use. http://www.enginepublishing.com/files/Masks-1000-NPCs-Preview.pdf Go to Comment
Sengur of the Warkra
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-11 12:19 PM
Reads like a write-up for a character that is going to make it into a novel. There's far more detail here than would probably make it into a game, but he would be fun to write about!

The only thing I wish you had included was a little more backstory, the "how he actually became a leader" part. I get that he as strong charisma and empathy, but without a partial listing of his deeds, it's hard to understand exactly why he is the most respected man on the islands. How did he get that magical mace, for instance? Go to Comment
L Type Gynoid
NPCs  (Extras-Horde)   (Mercantile)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-11 12:03 PM
You give us a lot of details about it's design and function in society, but forget to answer the central question of all androids: is it sentient? Does it have goals or feelings of its own, or is it simply a robot? Are the court cases being fought by gynoids seeking equal rights, or by the shopkeepers who employ them?

Otherwise, this is a very well-thought out android, in terms of its physical properties (making them weak so that they appear less of a threat was genius), and role in society. Thank you for not creating another generic sex bot. Go to Comment
L Type Gynoid
NPCs  (Extras-Horde)   (Mercantile)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-11 12:56 PM
Fantastic, thanks. I was kind of getting that feeling from the article, but I wanted to make sure that's what you intended. Go to Comment
The Saulberry
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Plains)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-09 07:15 PM
I love the descriptors you used in the backstory, axle. "Seeing the noise of the miracle" was very cool phrasing. Go to Comment
Chromids
Society/ Organizations  (Artistic/Performance)   (Area)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-09 07:01 PM
I like this. Changing one's skin color based on personal preferences is an interesting take, and a way to create a whole slew of new fantasy "races". Go to Comment
The Trapped Sea God
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Religious)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-02 11:01 AM
Nice twist at the end! I like that you made the god not only accessible, but helpless to some degree. The freeing of Gundrak would be a rather unique quest to send a party on, since it plays with the relationship that PCs normally have with deities. Go to Comment
Mother Monster
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-02 10:48 AM
Update: @Strolen: Updated the story a little to emphasize Maire's own talents and research before the creation of the first zombie. Go to Comment
Mother Monster
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Dossta's comment on 2013-01-09 03:19 PM
Update: Minor edit to correct the number and sexes of the children. Go to Comment
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