The relationships between the gods and their changing roles is very well done, as are the strong paralells that you make to Norse mythology. There were a few confusing parts, the Blooding section seems to tell the story twice. Go to Comment
Wow, you planned everything out perfectly, it can fit into almost any campaign, and you describe it very well. My take on the the sewer area was that the smell would be simply repressed by a low level spell (or even an alchemical substance?). Go to Comment
Laced Smokes "I dunno what's in them, but it's definitely not tobacco."
A laced smoke can have just about anything inside the wrapping paper, but they are all magically disguised to look and smell like tobacco. One variety is used by particularly disreputable drug dealers to addict their clients to more expensive products, and simultaneously sought out by young nobles in search of a way to make a family formal much more interesting. Of course, after a few untimely deaths from overdose, an assassin had the idea to concentrate the dosage of drug to make it more predictably lethal. Recently, a small nation's diplomat used one to get a slick trade deal with the Emperor's personal bank. Makes a person think twice before sticking anything into their mouth. Go to Comment
Your presentation of Formuo's mental processes is extremely sophisticated, I am very impressed. I don't have a problem with the close brush with mechanics, I think it is broad enough for interpretation. My only small addition would be that it would be interesting for you to include some other instances when Formuo's lack of maturity confounded his enemies. Great submission! Go to Comment
Every society has its outcasts, and these outcasts have formed their own order that ends up doing good for society. It is well written and is overall a very compelling tale. Also, I think that a submission about the Poppy Seed King might be in order, he sounds interesting. Go to Comment
This submission is good, but it seems to lack detail where the history is important. A race doesn't just defy the god that created it for no good reason, but I don't see one here. I am also fuzzy about the "unforgivable crimes" the Malcavas have committed, unless you are also referring to the actions they took against their god.
On a better note, you described their society with care, and your initiation ceremony is clever (though they might run out of gods eventually). The combination of technological, arcane, and divine power that is directed in an ancient fight to annihilate the gods is fun.
Oh yeah, when the Malcavas defected from their god, did they all agree? It seems like it might be a point of contention. Go to Comment
The toy of chaos, it not only topples governments, it removes the leaders of the rebellions. If a general wields the banner, is he always victorious? My only suggestion would be to extend the story, perhaps with a more concrete picture of the effect. Go to Comment
I really like this new semi-intelligent race, the detail is good, and the inflation of the Anfau's image by bards is cool. If the Anfau are smart enough to develop a language, can they use tools? Go to Comment
a child is born and he is discovered to be a god and they need him to complete a ritual to end all evil, if the one true evil gets hold of him then he will use his life source to end the world, he is ocumpained by three warriors to help him on his way,
Ideas ( System ) | September 2, 2004 |