In the interest of helping a newer member, I'm going to post and vote upon this. Hopefully my advice will be taken to heart.
1) Run the post through a spell checker. Yes, it takes an extra 30 seconds, however, it can make a post that much more readable.
2) Work on your grammar. Some of the tenses are mixed and jumbled, and that alone will take a full point off your rating.
3) While I think that he has potential as a character, at the moment he just seems...Lifeless. He's there, he has the big bad weapon, and he has the special abilities. What he doesn't really seem to have is anything more than a superficial background. What, for example, are the Lost Treasures of the Dragonwright? What is the Church of the Black Rose? What the heck is the Dragonwright anyway? These are things that you might know, but we have no clue who or what they are. Explain explain explain. Go to Comment
Hmm...Interesting concept, yet it seems unfinished. Almost as if you had to leave in the middle of writing it. Or are you just leaving the ending open to the GM's imagination? How about these verses inshrined in ancient lore? What do they portend?
Well, now...that last guy wasn't quite as civil about it as some would be, but I must admit, this is a very good scenario, if not just something to flesh out the world by having the PCs meet the poor guy. I certainly know that the poor players would go insane were this to happen to them...*pokes Ancient Gamer* Don't be getting any ideas from this one, worthy of the Hall it may be. Go to Comment
Well, my thought is that this might work interestingly well as an item of use to thieves. Am I right? Honestly, even though it's not really fleshed out, it still CAN be used. After all, just toss a handful at a guard and soon enough afterwards he'll have to stop the chase from sheer agony.
Or it could be set as a trap against intruders. C'mon people, use your brains! Go to Comment