Gah! Reading this plot reminds me of an old movie about this bookie for a mobster, who was dating this girl who claimed to be his daughter, but actually wasn't, and so he went to the mobster to ask her hand in marriage, but then the mobster's actual daughter and he were like, "Who are you?" and things went nuts, and then it came out that the not-daughter actually WAS the mobsters daughter, and it all was a huge mess until the movie ended, when things finally came together.
If anyone happens to remember that movie, I'd say it's a good one to watch for how this plot should feel when played out. Nice job ephe!
Edit: I finally remembered the movie. It's Oscar, the 1991 comedy film starring Silvester Stallone. Amazingly halarious movie. Go to Comment
Without being entirely aware of your thaumatech rune system, I'm not entirely sure such a system would allow runes inscribed on the leather to affect the capabilities of the rat. Perhaps more expensive versions have the runes for enhanced teeth tattooed on the rat's skin instead? (tattooing a rat would be a bit hard to do, thus more expensive) Go to Comment
While the author of this isn't around anymore, it's still an example of a submission that, while definitely not uber-quality, has enough to be inserted into a campaign or world with relative ease. Point in fact, it seems to me that we should be less harsh on submissions that don't have massive gobs of content, and consider whether they are, like this one, self-contained. Go to Comment
Well, actually, if you read the Chimera Oil item he linked to, it says just a few drops makes the skin soft as clay. 30 gallons of the stuff into the water system will cause some serious funkiness. *nods* Go to Comment
In the interest of helping a newer member, I'm going to post and vote upon this. Hopefully my advice will be taken to heart.
1) Run the post through a spell checker. Yes, it takes an extra 30 seconds, however, it can make a post that much more readable.
2) Work on your grammar. Some of the tenses are mixed and jumbled, and that alone will take a full point off your rating.
3) While I think that he has potential as a character, at the moment he just seems...Lifeless. He's there, he has the big bad weapon, and he has the special abilities. What he doesn't really seem to have is anything more than a superficial background. What, for example, are the Lost Treasures of the Dragonwright? What is the Church of the Black Rose? What the heck is the Dragonwright anyway? These are things that you might know, but we have no clue who or what they are. Explain explain explain. Go to Comment