I've modified the submission to cover a few of these points, which are excellent.
Cela is not an undead (except, perhaps, philosophically), which I thought had been handled by "She was able to snatch the girls soul from the Void of Souls and bind it to her body long enough for Cela to heal from her mortal wounds", but I can understand if that wasn't entirely clear.
As for her mother, that's something entirely up to the GM who wants to use Cela. It could be that she quietly passed away, or that she was hunted down by religious authorities, or is still out there, providing support and a "home base" for her daughter's quest.
The rest all were included in the update, but for redundancies sake:
* The children are also color-drained. Nothing comes for free, and subverting the course of nature as thoroughly as this is bound to leave a mark.
* Wording within the narrative was modified to be slightly less jarring. You were correct here, and I had just gotten used to it after reading and re-reading that passage. This is why writers have editors.
* I've given a smidge of direction for her goals in the journal excerpt, but honestly this is something that a GM has to decide for themselves, since it's heavily contingent on the campaign world and what is possible. Go to Comment
Why yes, I can totally see this happening in any non-apocalyptic future. Energy drinks are one of those unique expressions of modern society that nobody really saw coming, but have completely ingrained themselves into our collective psyche. Any near-future sci-fi without the equivalent is missing an important supporting piece of flavor.
Very nicely done! I can't think of a single thing that I'd like improved on this submission, which means it gets one of my rare 5's. Go to Comment
Something to keep in mind with cyber warfare as we know it today is that, while it's somewhat like submarines fighting, it's also automated to an extremely high degree. You set up scripts and toolkits to attack vulnerabilities and defend against known exploits much more than you actually run manual commands in a terminal. The processor is a thousand times faster than you'll ever be with human wetware in the control-loop.
So while you'll have operators doing some very high-level decision-making and in-the-trenches vulnerability-decisions, almost all of your actual fighting is probably going to be done at light-speed between two computers duking it out. We're just too damn slow to keep up. Go to Comment
I'm thinking that, depending on the amount of power that Othamm can exert through a priest, this would be an excellent source of support casters, boosting and aiding their allies in whatever tasks they might be performing. The warrior moves his weapon with crystal clarity, the carpenter hits a nail with the perfect economy of effort, the chef cooks a dozen masterpieces at once with precision timing. And of course, given that Othamm helps those who help themselves, any given priest would still be able to physically help even once their metaphysical assistance is gone. An extra pair of hands is always useful.
Overall, an interesting bit of flavor to add to the world. It provides some nice verisimilitude, since people have always named their deities and prayed to them for blessings. Showing that little extra bit of work always makes the world a larger, more varied place for the PCs to live in. Go to Comment
Honestly, I'm not entirely sure if I played up the undead aspect of his nature sufficiently. But then, it's rather hard to take a creature known for resurrection and make it undead. Thoughts are appreciated. Go to Comment
I'm not much of a dwarf fan, but I can appreciate the horror and terror that these little critters bring. They're subtle in their danger, but no less deadly for their subtlety. I approve. Go to Comment
Shivenhusk seems very much like an end-of-campaign boss to defeat. His writeup obviously has enough flesh to be spawning hordes of writhing, disgusting, slimy plot hooks, and I'd like to see some of those, to better allow his use. Go to Comment
I've always liked breakdowns of a school of magic, where they're split into more specific domains of expertise. It shows a systematization that always arises when a subject is studied and worked with for any real length of time. You simply need to discuss particular concepts, and thus have to give them names for ease of discussion.
I think this particular setup could work nicely as a general "schools of necromancy" learning mechanic, assigning knowledge points into subcategories of necromancy to show what your characters specialties are and what they're capable of. Go to Comment
I'm liking this quite a bit. I need to read the rest of the set before I start really letting my ideas out, since I'm sure some of them are precluded by other information provided. But this right here is one of those nifty pieces of utility that brings a setting to life. Of COURSE the heavy-duty AIs are going to want to keep their hand in the game at a finer level than controlling traffic lights and ordering minions around. Go to Comment
I agree with Dossta about the Druids. The rest of the article, while brief, does introduce and briefly expound upon your core idea of subverting the classic environmental tropes, but that section seems completely out of place.
Other than that, however, the core idea is rather sound, and unless you have a campaign specifically-oriented towards it (and the players knew what they were getting into), the players probably won't find much enjoyment in more than one or two tales of "protect nature from the ravages of humanity".
Sitting behind our computer screens, we're pretty protected from the fears and terrors that come from being in the Untamed Wild; nature is a pretty scary place once you leave the protection of civilization. Go to Comment