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Glacial Cairn
Dungeons  (Tundra/ Arctic)   (Rooms/ Halls)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-18 07:24 PM
Updated slightly to accommodate comments and advice. Go to Comment
Glacial Cairn
Dungeons  (Tundra/ Arctic)   (Rooms/ Halls)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-20 02:49 PM
Which was indeed the point. It's more useful for the majority of submissions to be lower to middle strength adventure locations, but occasionally, you just have to have a high level place. Not everywhere in the world is a safe place for your PCs to be, even when they're known heroes. Besides, would you really expect something less than this for a phoenix's prison? Go to Comment
30 Systems of Justice
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (General)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-14 05:09 PM
You can't forget the classic Monty Python system, where completely arbitrary lines of (un)reason hold sway. Useful only in silly campaigns, however.

Mob: "Burn the witch!"
Knight: "Wait, wait. How do you know she's a witch?"
Mob: "..Well, we don't. We just think she's a witch."
Knight: "Well, everyone knows that witches sink in water, right? What doesn't sink in water?"
Mob: "A duck!"
Knight: "Weigh her against a duck. If she's heavier than a duck, she's a witch."
*they weigh her, she's obviously heavier than a duck*
Accused witch: "Well, I can't deny the logic of that."
Mob: "Burn the witch!" Go to Comment
30 Systems of Justice
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (General)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-14 05:13 PM
I wasn't entirely sure how you'd pull out thirty full systems of justice, but you did. Variations are to be expected, but that's what makes the systems different from each other anyway. I think this could be a useful reference for world designers, to help them pick the right feel for their countries. Good work. Go to Comment
Demonforged Ice
Items  (Materials)   (Villanous)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-16 10:22 PM
{Siren no Orakio} 10:20 pm: Needs a little note on how it gets out of Hell on occasion, though
{Chaosmark} 10:21 pm: Someone gets lucky and kills a demon wearing such armor, or makes a dark pact for it.
{Chaosmark} 10:21 pm: Same as with just about any demon-tainted item. Go to Comment
An Ordinary Flashbulb Camera
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-14 01:48 PM
No, for two reasons. The first, it's an old-type camera. You know, the huge box kind, with honest to heaven picture plates? I suppose someone could come up with a telephoto lens for one, but it'd be difficult. Second, the enchantment on the camera and plates don't extend far enough. Perhaps it might work if someone could make a telephoto lens to focus and enhance the power and effect of the camera's enchantment, but otherwise, no. Personal range only. (my conception was also single-person only, but I don't think that's essential to the sub) Go to Comment
An Ordinary Flashbulb Camera
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-14 02:19 PM
{Cheka Man} 2:04 pm: if the pic is developed, what happens then?
{Chaosmark} 2:07 pm: I left it mostly up the GM, but I envisioned either the picture looking entirely normal, or perhaps you get one of those animated ones like they had in the Harry Potter movies,
with the pictured person going absolutely nuts inside the picture.
{Cheka Man} 2:08 pm: trying to escape?
{Chaosmark} 2:08 pm: Partially, but mostly to get attention.
{Chaosmark} 2:08 pm: No sound can escape, but lips could be read.
{Cheka Man} 2:09 pm: if you bury the picture, would that drive the soul insane?
{Chaosmark} 2:10 pm: I had also thought about what it might be like for the soul so captured, their experience inside the picture, but I definitely wanted that left up to a GM. Depending on how you
wanted to handle it, they could be fully aware and trapped within the room they were in when the picture was taken, or they go blank until reunited with a body, put into stasis.
{Chaosmark} 2:11 pm: Which is what determines the answer to your question.
{Cheka Man} 2:11 pm: if they went mad you could set them free close to the body and the person would then go mad
{Chaosmark} 2:12 pm: Mhmm.
{Chaosmark} 2:12 pm: Crafty political cultists could discredit rivals in such a fashion.
{Cheka Man} 2:12 pm: and could then be put in a loony bin Go to Comment
An Ordinary Flashbulb Camera
Items  (Other)   (Villanous)
Chaosmark's comment on 2011-07-31 01:59 PM
That was indeed my original inspiration. Go to Comment
Lancet Fluke Seal
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Water)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-02 07:22 PM
Holy zombie sharks Batman! I'm honestly not sure what to think of this one. It's definitely original, and the write-up more than covers what you'd want to know about it, but it's just not clicking for me as something I like. Go to Comment
Ring of the Pure
Items  (Jewelry)   (Cursed)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-02 07:18 PM
I think everyone has ignored the major line in the description: "it has the ability to numb certain points of the body (such as the hand or tongue) whenever the thought of a perverse action or utterance occurs in the wearer's head." The marriage use wouldn't really work, simply because I can't think of a single religion that would consider married-boinking to be perverse, and have their version of the ring affect it.

Something to think about: a ring of perversion for the darker religions. Helps send you down the wide and curvy faster than you otherwise would. Go to Comment
Roddenberry Writes I
Articles  (Rules and Advice)   (Game Mastering)
Chaosmark's comment on 2009-01-18 04:27 PM
Honestly, I agree with Scras' comment, but not his vote. In the past, you've talked about PCs having goals and the GM including them in the game where appropriate, but this is the first time I think you've really gone in-depth on that. I rather enjoyed this one, even though it seemed a smidge dry. Basic isn't always a bad thing: we all need to go back to the basics sometimes, simply because we didn't pick it up the first time through, we're just now learning it, or because with more experience we can understand and apply it better. Go to Comment
Rot Beetle
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Any)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-17 12:39 PM
We'll go with what Muro said: interesting, and entirely believable. I have issue with the description at the beginning, where it was described to the casual observer as a wiggling grain of rice, combined with the one at the end, where it has grown to the size of a rat. The two simply don't seem to match properly. A bit better explanation would be nice.

Otherwise, an interesting fellow you have here. Keep up the submissions, I'm liking what I'm reading. Go to Comment
The land of the forgotten
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-14 08:38 PM
Greetings, and welcome to the Citadel. Glancing at what you've got there, I believe some advice is in order:

Firstly, something to keep in mind is that this is not a fiction site per-se. Strolen's Citadel is primarily a website devoted to generating resources for gamemasters to use in roleplaying games, not simply for publishing stories. From what you have there, it seems to me you're looking more for a place to put out your work for others to read than to provide a self-contained resource for gamemasters. I'd suggest you do a Google search for "writing forums" or something similar, to find such a place. I'm quite sure they'll also be open to helping you improve your writing in all aspects.

Secondly, if you were trying to start a general roleplay, you should go over to the Forum. We have a specific area for freeform roleplaying: http://www.strolen.com/guild/index.php/board,5.0.html

Lastly, spellcheck is most definitely your friend, as is capitalization. You might try reading what you wrote aloud to get an idea of how jumbled and hard to read it is. We're definitely not Grammar Nazis here, but we ARE writers, after a fashion.

Once again, welcome to the Citadel. Hopefully you'll stay around and help generate new ideas. We always love having new folk appear. Go to Comment
The land of the forgotten
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-16 09:56 AM
If the sub had been submitted fully, then yes, I'd say it needs tossing out. But since it's marked as advice requested, I decided to be a bit nicer, and actually offer advice before calling down the smite. Go to Comment
30 Beers
Articles  (Campaign)   (Gaming - In General)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-14 01:35 PM
I keep getting the thought of zombie-beer. Straaaaange. Go to Comment
30 Divine Concepts
Systems  (Societal/ Cultural)   (Defining)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-12 11:15 PM
Wow. This was certainly a longer read than normal. I think a few parts weren't really valid questions (the time-displaced gods, for instance), but otherwise I think this is useful for getting away from the 'traditional' D&D pantheon (#25 I believe...). Go to Comment
The Zenahin Flower
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Plains)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-12 04:52 PM
Much discussion followed this one in chat. Muro suggested a multitude of uses for trickster-types, to which I responded that it didn't have to respond immediately to changes in emotion. Sure negative emotions could hurt it quickly, but the positive ones could take a while to change it. Just a way to limit these from being much more than nifty background fluff. Go to Comment
Sunflower
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Any)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-12 04:36 PM
Updated: Out with ye! Go to Comment
Sunflower
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Any)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-14 12:15 AM
Perhaps. Then again, with the exception of certain subcultures within Western Society, we absorb a large amount of UV rays anyway, just by walking around outside. Go to Comment
Sunflower
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Any)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-12-14 01:19 PM
I was aiming for a burning feeling in the user's mouth anyway. They've got liquid sunlight sloshing around in their body. That's gotta burn on the way down. Go to Comment
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