Who are the renegade elements and why are they dangerous? Just because they can't be predicted? Where did the Time Knights come from? Who is the "High Duke" (I know it's a big secret, but some explanation would be nice)?
They are waaaaay waaaay powerful. Essentially, you say that these Time Knights know everything that can happen, can heal any wound that occurs to them, and can teleport to anywhere. Way too powerful.
I'm gonna' put this right out there for everybody to know- I don't like submissions involving time travel, time control, time manipulation, and the like. Go to Comment
I like Ore Measure and Hjurkans (Hjurkans seems particularly interesting and realistic to me).
How do Isan years differ from others? Are they measured differently? What are they connected to? Go to Comment
It seems okay. Just okay.
The story behind it and all that is good... But where did the Shadow of Fists come from? Is their motivation money? Saving the townsfolk? Ending the war? Stability? Hatred of wizards? What is it about for them?
Skip the stats and the dice numbers and all that business, we are a non-system site.
Also, for such a well-named and described item, the actual trap of it (a bear trap?) seems kind of... I dunno', mundane. Ridiculous, even. Sure, the wizard now has no hands and is bleeding; but I think it would be more interesting if the book somehow trapped the wizard's soul or something of that nature. I dunno', maybe I'm just full of bad ideas.
I have to say that overall, it isn't hugely unique or groundbreaking; it doesn't excite me with how interesting it is. But when you really read it, interesting details like the Laniard and the Great One make it better than it's base, which feels rather generic to me. Go to Comment