Strolen\s Citadel content. 
A Grave Problem
Plots  (Discovery)   (Encounter)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-04 08:09 AM
Option 1b The family of the entombed sees the grave goods and either the authorities or the family task the adventurers w/ why this happened Go to Comment
The Stolen World, Overview and Codex
Locations  (World)   (Any)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-07 11:12 AM
The 1000 yr cycle is a based on the fational that longer cycles would lead to high enough magic to at least be able to hide a great deal of the world Go to Comment
The Stolen World, Overview and Codex
Locations  (World)   (Any)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-13 11:15 AM
I felt I needed to put the full description of the way I was using the whales to make my other subs a little more understandable at this time, totally agree that this is only 3.5 at this time, but this is going to be my primary codex page for the Stolen(Strolen) World. Go to Comment
Apocalyptic Vampires
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (City/ Ruin)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-03 08:10 AM
Core idea is solid, Lots of idea here to work from. But as you yourself admit its sort........lacking This to me is a textbook 3/5 Very good concept, delivered ok.although its only about 25 words away from a stub.If your really interested in doing some more work on this ,I could give a little more input. Go to Comment
Apocalyptic Vampires
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (City/ Ruin)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-03 08:24 AM
The main reason they are so successful is that they, attack low or no mana worlds exclusively. Going to modern worlds where vampires exist in movies and holograms. Their mages provide them with magic rings to allow them to survive on worlds like that. This also explains why their servants decay so quickly, without the necessary mana, they are imparted with only the minimum mana to exist and decay quickly. Their thralls are way more important to their hierarchy.

World with a goth subculture are of great value to them, Thralls they don't need to exert much control over and excellent sources of officers. Go to Comment
Castle Kaukenn
Dungeons  (Other)   (Rooms/ Halls)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-04 01:07 PM
Nice little sub! great back story.,love what you have on the castle. Scores well on utility and back story. 4/5 Go to Comment
The Elder Crow of the Tarlathii
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-02 06:02 PM
The whole possession thing has been done to death, HOWEVER this is a nice take on them, I particularly like the Merchant, to me , he makes the sub.Big props on the style and artistry, I think I actually would have liked it better if we had just the merchant. Not really much new territory here ,4/5 all for art Go to Comment
The Elder Crow of the Tarlathii
Lifeforms  (Ethereal)   (Any)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-03 07:42 AM
I vote on two factors usefulness followed by art. I should have emphasized a little more how much you did a fantastic job on the art of this piece.It is also nice and short,which I like better. Illl be happy to dole out 4s to subs like this all day long. Go to Comment
Mark Greaves, Assassin Hobo
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Travelers)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-02 03:56 PM
If you've got magic in your modern setting the fey details become very important ,along w/ the nature of the curse Go to Comment
Mark Greaves, Assassin Hobo
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Travelers)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-02 03:17 PM
oH I get to go first! I think what would fix. this a lot is maybe a short paragraph more abou the fey encounter, Its a little too important to gloss over, you could take some of the word count out of the intro, as it is its ok but not anything very special. You Drosus and I have all made the same mistake w/ these. We over focused to much on one aspect(all of us did this different) Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 09:05 AM
Improvised Weapons! THAT totally needs to go in the body Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 09:26 AM
up voted Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 08:48 AM
Nice addition of a modern/sci fi assassin in a field of fantasy ones,just a hint more of setting and possibly weapons(something exotic would be a nice touch) would be in order, This is tuff to do when you are working with only 500 words , I vote on two things primarily, usefulness and secondly artistry , This one gets good grades on usefulnes but very high marks on artistry, Of all the assassins submitted so far, this one is the one I can most see in my minds eye. 4/5 Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 11:18 AM
That tiny change made a huge difference in how I view this sub The 4.5/5 now is for a total package not just the great style you've got going here. The improvised weapon thing just makes this truly outstanding.Right now you have got my vote for winning entry . Go to Comment
Artan Keybreaker
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 07:25 AM
Best part is your take on the dwarven assassins 'guild', special abilities spell out was also nice 4/5 Go to Comment
Buluc, death priest of Rope Woman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Religious)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 07:38 AM
I've got a slightly different take. You've only got 500 words to make your NPC and you spent very little of them on your guy. That being said the info contained is compiling
If this were an ordinary sub, I would give you a 5 but since its about the NPC ,not the history of the world 4/5 Don't get me wrong its still very good, I'm just stretching my critical eye over my comments of the past. Go to Comment
Ryenionn The Deathless
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Other)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 11:43 AM
I haven't abandoned this yet will take your suggestion and axle's to improve.Also reading some of the other entries has made me re-think the direction I took with this. plus I'm pretty sure I've got some words to spare.Stay tuned for when my muse strikes and I can get some more computer time from my kids. Go to Comment
Ryenionn The Deathless
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Other)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-13 08:55 AM
axle, I'm going to take your excellent suggestion as to NOT make this just a recurring combat thing and turn it more into a mystery thing, started a couple of weeks ago on running this.Gave the guy a macho look and high squeaky voice. They killed him and they know the body disappeared so far.Def gonna update.Eventually. Go to Comment
Elainuk: Parna's Dark Elf Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 03:05 PM
axel, You and I are on the same page w/this stat thing HOWEVER I very strongly suggest that you take the stats out of the body of the work and put them in an idea below the sub, I REALLY think that will ruffle the least feathers. Go to Comment
Elainuk: Parna's Dark Elf Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 04:02 PM
I'm like Sheldon,they both scare and fascinate me LOL, Seriously, I'm not trying to start the Protestant Reformation in the Citadel. While the difference is almost negligible, It takes into respect the wishes of the majority and allows the minority to do what they want. I do not feel that stats should be included in the body of a sub. It will send the wrong message to future Strolenites and we are not looking for a fight here
Go to Comment
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