Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Sword of Inar
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Agar's comment on 2005-09-04 01:57 AM
Very nice backstory, and whoever voted one is too much a coward to show thier face.

I am only giving this a four. It is a trap. No, really. It's a trap. Its a big honking sword with great expectations attached to it's legend, but there is no reason beyond reputation anyone would want to possess this blade.

Perhaps a little to powerful, in the negative sense, as there's no way the character can be playable when their courage is dead.

Good item with a rich and detail dialog of it's origins and the origins of it's powers. Good read, good post, good work. Go to Comment
The Amulet of Looda Chriss
Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-29 04:18 PM
I'm holding out for the armor of Phiddy Scent. Go to Comment
Danrick's Sword
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-28 03:54 PM
Spellchecked :D

Reminds you of Shannarah? Well crap. I read the stone and a couple others in the series, hated them with a vengnace.

Now I almost want to delete the whole post ... Go to Comment
Danrick's Sword
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-29 12:41 AM
Oh. Ok then. Shows how familiar I am with those works.

Anyhow, another example of double edged items is my "Devil's Footsteps". I'm really proud of that one, and enjoy having one of the very few seige weapons here. >:D Go to Comment
Danrick's Sword
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-30 02:27 PM
Well, the king's birthday was the reason the wizard had to come to court and play the charade with his grandson.

And, in another twist, the old man died.

Didn't say how or if it was from the staff, so it doesn't have to be double edged, everyone has just been assuming that the old man died from the big bad magic item, not him being old.

This item has magical properties, I didn't check cursed. I'll leave that up to you all when you use it. Go to Comment
Sarvas Sword
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-28 03:31 AM
Good work on giving plus one swords a backstory. The real star of the post is the forge, but that seems more like a mass production maching than a magic item.

In any case, good post. Go to Comment
Ruin-ech
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-27 02:51 AM
Oh dear lord ...

Seven sentances, not counting run ons, no description of powers, just a short spear you can't break that does ... "stuff".

I *need* negative numbers. Really.

To be constructive as I can this late ... Wow. You need to actually post a submission, this one is empty. What's it do? Why did you mention elves? How's that luck bit work? What's the curse and why is it there?

Look at other high ranked items, unless they're swords that belch magma like a supersoaker, to get an idea of what we expect from a submission.

Thanks for posting, I hope you use this as a starting point to make better and more detailed submissions in the future. Go to Comment
Ruin-ech
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-27 07:55 PM
After a time, yes.

We give the poster time to see and review constructive critisim, and take it under consideration. If nothing is done, AND PEOPLE QUIT COMMENTING ON IT, then we delete it.

So if you want to see something go away, give it your review, then leave it be. It will disappear faster. Go to Comment
Princess Matriax's Defender
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Cursed)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-26 12:36 PM
You see potential? Too original? Powerful curse?

How is a curse that occasionally makes you fight with a decrotive sap untill combat is over, powerful? It's an annoyance, something to roleplay around and through, almost comedic, but if the roleplayer is getting into the atrifact possesion part where they ~want~ to use it, then it can lead to some great roleplay.

Too orignal? TOO ORIGINAL?!?! Well hell, why don't I just start posting up "Sword +3 - It's a sword, plus 3" ?!?! If you like stupid huge swords and bags of holding, stick to your GM manual and don't look for new ideas! Strolens as all ABOUT new ideas. If they're not orignal, they're not worth posting. Even old idead can be made new, with the right twist:

Really big sword:
http://www.strolen.com/items/viewitem.php?item_id=173

Bag of holding:
http://www.strolen.com/items/viewitem.php?item_id=123

http://www.strolen.com/items/viewitem.php?item_id=279

I'm glad you see potential, and per your confusion, I added a bit about how she died. There's your cursre origin. Go to Comment
Princess Matriax's Defender
Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Cursed)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-26 02:43 PM
"Somewhere along the line we need to ask ourselves, "Is this an item I would include in my campaign?""

No, actually, that's exactly what we DON'T need to be doing. If you're judging these on whether or not you can use them, then you're just shopping, not critiqueing.

And what's wrong with being comedic? Comedic can be quite fun, even enduring, if you have the right group. See, this isn't about making YOU happy, it's about ideas that are interesting. Go to Comment
The Steel Cathexis
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Agar's comment on 2005-09-04 01:48 AM
I think that's the most cohesive post ever made while overdosing on crack.

Good work Horde!

:P Go to Comment
The Steel Cathexis
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Agar's comment on 2005-09-03 12:09 AM
*Points to his posts above*

See me saying they're the same person? That is what Ancient was debunking. Finger does seem to have a gross disparity in the qualities of his posts, but he is apparently not the same person as Eyebiter. My bad.

I still think this sword is Munchkin, but I've let the flame war die, even with flame bait like platnium hubcap necklaces are getting posted. Go to Comment
The Steel Cathexis
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-26 02:53 AM
Why are people voting this high? STOP

A final fantasy - esque REALLY BIG SWORD, that has artifact possession from lord of the rings.

Damn, how original.

Let's add up your points:

Thought given to item and subission: +1
Spelling and grammer is good: +1
Lack of Orignallity: -1
Lack of Backstory: -1
Munchkin : -1
Lack of a Curse: -1

If you're going to curse something, CURSE IT! "The sword, you see, it's ~evil~ because it makes you want to USE IT!"

WHAT?! Damn, I'm glad this isn't an abrasive personal lubricant!

Overall, you get a -2 ... But since I can't do that, I have to give you a one, and write up either a large sword or a cursed item that's better than yours. Go to Comment
The Steel Cathexis
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Agar's comment on 2005-08-26 12:51 PM
I agree with Monument, and I don't like his "cut and paste a puzzle off the internet" style. Two of Finger's submission are garbage, utter crap, and then there's this one, atriculate and thought out. Either it's cut and pasted, or he's got split personalities where one has an iq of 180, and the other 18.

Finger and Eyebiter sure post an awful lot alike too.

To keep the constructive critisim up:

There's is no downside to this curse. That makes it not a curse. Period. They will want to use the sword that rips magma up from the earth. Duh, that's why they picked the damn thing up.

Munchkin. How the hell are you arguing a sword that rips magma up from the earth with no ill effects ISN'T Munchkin?

Backstories, their nice, they're good when they're there, but they aren't nessecary. They help if it's a unique item, so we can get a fuller and more complete feel for them, but when it's something like canteen stones, you don't really need a backstory when you have a canteen. A sword that rips magma up from the earth, well, we'd like an explination.

Big sword, fancy graphics. Yup. Final Fantasy. Didn't know the name of the sword till you mentioned it, but I'm not a fanboy. Tolkien's ring was the original, as they often are for most all fantasy, and this item has the same effect as the ring.

And of course they have different qualities, but if you weld the one ring on Cloud's sword, badaboom, you still don't have as cheesy a sword as this.

"self righteous, rude ingrates"? Check my ratings on my submissions, quit voting on your own with different accounts, and shush. Go to Comment
Blinkly's Rocket Arrow
Items  (Ranged Weapons)   (Combat)
Agar's comment on 2005-06-04 02:05 AM
I have a centaur, a gully dwarf and a cat with a hammer that will be interested in this.

You have a couple of spelling issues, but a good story and a balanced item.

3/5 Go to Comment
Lesser Glyph of Change
Items  (Materials)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2005-05-18 08:07 PM
"Impress your friends with your wand of wonder clone! Scribble this Glyph on a flat peice of metal and let the choas begin! Great at parties! Be the first on your blck to get one!"

Wand of wonder clone. not original at all.

I want to give you a two because it's well written, but it's just so over done.

1/5 Go to Comment
Circlet of Amplus Ater Iris
Items  (Jewelry)   (Cursed)
Agar's comment on 2005-05-17 02:25 PM
This is a non system site. Try to convert your charts up there into something more like a description of how hard or difficult the thing is to do.

As it is, it's not great, but could be made into a workable item.

2/5 Go to Comment
Man's Best Friend: Part Two
Plots  (Hired)   (Multi-Storyline)
Agar's comment on 2005-05-15 12:35 PM
@ Moon, they're not always the bad guys. I think Dragonstorm, the collectible card roleplaying game, is still in print. ALL the good guys (except the orc) are shapeshifters. The bad guys are necromancers. And there's the werewolf game.

This plot is a hard one to "get right". It introduces the PC's to a concept that stands what they know on it's head: Sympathetic Lycanthropy. They have the best chance of figuring out the truth by talking to the castle workers and freinds of Rikka, as she became a werewolf with no wounds or even ever going on a hunt.

The queen doesn't HAVE to be doomed. You could say that the king is only contagious on or around the full moon. Volker got exposed redressing the wounds a last time, Jarvis sparred with him that afternoon, and Rikka ... inturrupted a moment. (I think there's a scene like that in one of the "American werewolf in ..." movies)

The king would just have to manage and limit his exposure to other people at certain times of the month then, and it would become a kingdoms dirty little secret. Now, wether or not this trait is dominate or even passable to his children ... well, it almost leads into another plot. Go to Comment
Man's Best Friend: Part Two
Plots  (Hired)   (Multi-Storyline)
Agar's comment on 2005-05-15 02:03 PM
Generally you're not.

For the timeline to be belivable, you'll basically have a different party returning to the same lands. Or a party of long lived humanoids.

This was never intended as a first part of an adventure, then the second, more like Episode one and Episode two kinda thing. More accuratly, Episode 3 and 4, but that's splitting hairs. Go to Comment
Man's best friend: Part One
Plots  (Hired)   (Multi-Storyline)
Agar's comment on 2005-05-13 12:40 PM
Hmm, I need to edit in a detail Dragonlord has pointed out:

The boy is not a werewolf. He shows no signs of having contracted lycanthropy at all, even months after the event.

@ moon: don't worry. This is more of a prequel, to explain the even more twisted part 2 Go to Comment
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