You don't need a pipe or a heavenly voice to draw a crowd with this in your hands.
Wooden constructs skilled in the art of battle as well as extermination.
In a bar not too far off the road, a man walks in. his boots clattering on the wooden floor. The bar is noticeably empty with only a few guys still around either drinking or chatting. Not too surprising since it is already the evening and they probably went home. The smell of smoke and liquor still hangs in the air like a fly caught in a web. The man in the trench coat pulls himself on a stool near the counter. His face covered by a bandanna and the brim of his hat obscuring the view of his eyes. The bartender, who had been cleaning a beer glass, looks up.
"So what'll it be, stranger?"
The man responds in a gruff and tired voice. "Dark and Stormy."
Urbants-Creatures that move quickly around on their massive arms, and their "legs" dangle about from their torso, at about elbow length. They can move fairly quickly, but not as fast as an obese human, and can "jump" fairly high. Their "legs" are very powerful, and can kill with one blow. The bad thing is, Urbants cannot block attacks at their heads, which have relatively no neck, from the length of their legs being so short.