Why is all the rum gone?
That crazy fellow over there just poured it all into his boots!
Now with Bonus Item!
A wet brown sack… FULL OF MAGGOTS!
She wore an odd blue gem stud in her navel, it was a very attractive piece of jewlery. But, I just couldn’t seem to get her drunk.
Who would want to make food you can’t eat? What purpose does this insane oven exist for?
Ever want to be half-man half-horse? Probably not, but these shoes can make it happen.
"Hell hath no fury like MY RIGHT FOOT!" Shardath yelled as he stomped upon the holy ground.
And… The Young Thug pulled out a… Dead Rat? Didn’t see that coming.
"Whats this do?" Asked the visting Human.
"That," Dugfar replied. "Is my- Wait! Don’t tou-"
...and with that they were buried alive.
Frosty the Snowman. Is a fairytale they say. He was made of snow. But the children know. How he came to life one day…
There must have been some magic. In that old silk hat they found. For when they placed it on his head. He began to dance around…
"First, he pointed that giant metal rod at me and out came a glass vial, it exploded next to me! Next thing you know, out comes a friggin’ bear! Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, he sticks it in the ground. It expands and he walks into it to get a snack!" - Xzud, Experimental Arms Dealer.
It was Young Jim’s first battle. He was known for being a tireless worker in the field and a very patriotic young man. But he didn’t understand this strange armor they put him in… And he didn’t know it would be the Last Armor he ever wore.
"You shall never catch anything but a whiff of me!" Vaivin yelled, as he ran down the dark tunnel being chased by giant rats. All of a sudden he was gone and all that remained was a cloud of gas.
The Magnetic Bolas can be thrown at an enemy’s melee weapon to hinder its effeciancy, making it harder to swing, and causing it to miss more often.
The Necronautilus is a huge undead whale used to transport undead and their masters secretly.
Here we go! Everything you need for the next barfight that railroads the players into a party. Yes!
Ever hear a noise you just can’t pinpoint? Ever have that buzzing in your ears? If yes, you may have been the victim of a Wand of Illusory Sound!
The proud dwarven Captain Dugfar stood atop his mighty machine of magic and stone looking down the mountain they had just emerged from; letting the wind whip his beard over his shoulder… "This is a proud day for the Dwarves!" He bellowed. "...and this is just the start!"
The Cursed form of poor Shump Thokk. He will offer helpful advice to anyone who dons the helmet.
A Legendary magic item given to Oamahar of the Wise by Aurorobouros for achieving perfect harmony with the elements. Warning: This item may not really exist, nobody knows.
A Wizard’s most prized possesion is his Spellbook and with this item it will be safe from the eyes of others.
Maybe in the future, you can earn money by allowing yourself to be possessed by the genius loci of Taco Bell. And then it just spews ads out of your mouth during all the times you aren't using it.