Why is all the rum gone?
That crazy fellow over there just poured it all into his boots!
Now with Bonus Item!
A wet brown sack… FULL OF MAGGOTS!
She wore an odd blue gem stud in her navel, it was a very attractive piece of jewlery. But, I just couldn’t seem to get her drunk.
Who would want to make food you can’t eat? What purpose does this insane oven exist for?
Ever want to be half-man half-horse? Probably not, but these shoes can make it happen.
"Hell hath no fury like MY RIGHT FOOT!" Shardath yelled as he stomped upon the holy ground.
And… The Young Thug pulled out a… Dead Rat? Didn’t see that coming.
"Whats this do?" Asked the visting Human.
"That," Dugfar replied. "Is my- Wait! Don’t tou-"
...and with that they were buried alive.
Frosty the Snowman. Is a fairytale they say. He was made of snow. But the children know. How he came to life one day…
There must have been some magic. In that old silk hat they found. For when they placed it on his head. He began to dance around…
"First, he pointed that giant metal rod at me and out came a glass vial, it exploded next to me! Next thing you know, out comes a friggin’ bear! Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, he sticks it in the ground. It expands and he walks into it to get a snack!" - Xzud, Experimental Arms Dealer.
It was Young Jim’s first battle. He was known for being a tireless worker in the field and a very patriotic young man. But he didn’t understand this strange armor they put him in… And he didn’t know it would be the Last Armor he ever wore.
"You shall never catch anything but a whiff of me!" Vaivin yelled, as he ran down the dark tunnel being chased by giant rats. All of a sudden he was gone and all that remained was a cloud of gas.
The Magnetic Bolas can be thrown at an enemy’s melee weapon to hinder its effeciancy, making it harder to swing, and causing it to miss more often.
The Necronautilus is a huge undead whale used to transport undead and their masters secretly.
Here we go! Everything you need for the next barfight that railroads the players into a party. Yes!
Ever hear a noise you just can’t pinpoint? Ever have that buzzing in your ears? If yes, you may have been the victim of a Wand of Illusory Sound!
The proud dwarven Captain Dugfar stood atop his mighty machine of magic and stone looking down the mountain they had just emerged from; letting the wind whip his beard over his shoulder… "This is a proud day for the Dwarves!" He bellowed. "...and this is just the start!"
The Cursed form of poor Shump Thokk. He will offer helpful advice to anyone who dons the helmet.
A Legendary magic item given to Oamahar of the Wise by Aurorobouros for achieving perfect harmony with the elements. Warning: This item may not really exist, nobody knows.
A Wizard’s most prized possesion is his Spellbook and with this item it will be safe from the eyes of others.
Sages and naturalists frown at the common name given to these strange creatures by the small folk, but sometimes the silliest nicknames for creatures, places and people persevere in the minds of many. “Purifiers”, “Pond Jellies”, “Breath-Stealers”, “Lung-Ticklers” and “River Butterflies” are much less commonly heard appellations for these life forms. Wet Faeries are basically (and simply) a species of fist-sized, fresh-water jellyfish. Several traits steer them toward the peculiar category however. Firstly, Wet Faeries are nearly invisible in the water, much like their marine cousins but even more so. One can swim in a river swarming with these critters and not even notice their presence. Secondly, they possess the unique ability to clean and purify whatever body of water they inhabit. They do this via some sort of biological filtration process, sucking in all toxins present in the water, and releasing it back in its purest form. Needless to say, they are both a blessing and a curse to whichever folk dwell beside the rivers and lakes Wet Faeries inhabit. On one hand, no purer water can be found anywhere than a Wet Faerie lake or pond, and yet, in “pure” water “life” tends in fact to die out, lacking the needed nutrients to prosper. Thirdly, their “sting” is (unfortunately) virulently poisonous to all mammalians. Wet Faeries are loathe to sting anyone or anything, using their barbed fronds as a last line of defense, but if stung, most swimmers will suffer respiratory arrest, and die within minutes, usually drowning before they can make it back to shore.
Alchemists, druids, and less savory characters have studied these creatures over the years, and have predictably found all the ways Wet Faeries could be exploited. Morbidly humorous, some bards find it, that the Poisoners and Assassins Guilds as well as the Healer’s Union, all prize these creatures. The assassins use the extracted venom in obvious fashion, while the priests and healers use the still-living jelly-fish to sterilize other poison potions and to cure those already poisoned on death’s door.
It is known that a certain Earl Von Trumble keeps his vast castle moat stocked with Wet Faeries, the waters so clear that every bone of every one of his past enemies can be clearly seen on the bottom, twenty two feet below.