"Aww, dang, did you fart again?" asked the Jordy, The Knight.
"No, screw you! I didn’t fart in the first place!" replied The Scoundrel, Harris. What they didn’t know was that the Smelbinders could hear their every word.
The Master walked over to the strange symmetrical mechanism. He flipped it over… The sands of the hourglass began to flow and it whirred to life. "One hour," said The Master, "Practice."
It was Young Jim’s first battle. He was known for being a tireless worker in the field and a very patriotic young man. But he didn’t understand this strange armor they put him in… And he didn’t know it would be the Last Armor he ever wore.
"You shall never catch anything but a whiff of me!" Vaivin yelled, as he ran down the dark tunnel being chased by giant rats. All of a sudden he was gone and all that remained was a cloud of gas.
These are the Gods of Food and Eating! Beware their culinary prowess and tremble before the might of their cookery! These are… More Placeholder Gods!
"Did you hear that? He speaks to those who would listen. Simply adjust your hearing frequency and you will hear his voice." - Audicus, Disciple of the Sound Mind and Body.
The Magnetic Bolas can be thrown at an enemy’s melee weapon to hinder its effeciancy, making it harder to swing, and causing it to miss more often.
Dusk Cheese is a naturally occuring lubricant and potent alchemical ingredient.
The Necronautilus is a huge undead whale used to transport undead and their masters secretly.
Here we go! Everything you need for the next barfight that railroads the players into a party. Yes!
Ever hear a noise you just can’t pinpoint? Ever have that buzzing in your ears? If yes, you may have been the victim of a Wand of Illusory Sound!
Scattered across the world are the worshippers of the Red Pantheon: Damascus Fellnorn and Xak the Fiendish, two godlings on a quest for world domination who command hordes of undead and many skilled swordsmen.
The proud dwarven Captain Dugfar stood atop his mighty machine of magic and stone looking down the mountain they had just emerged from; letting the wind whip his beard over his shoulder… "This is a proud day for the Dwarves!" He bellowed. "...and this is just the start!"
The Furry Tree-Zombies were a race of Tribal Jungle Halflings untill an insane Re-Animator discovered their existance.
The Moaning Lands of the Dead and Dying. Many foul creatures of undeath roam here and seek living flesh, no one is quite sure what happened to this large desert island. Maybe you could unlock the mystery and free the tormented.
The Cursed form of poor Shump Thokk. He will offer helpful advice to anyone who dons the helmet.
“I open door number one”
“Watch Out for that… ouch… ”
“Oh look, a glass wall between us and the treasure.”
A Legendary magic item given to Oamahar of the Wise by Aurorobouros for achieving perfect harmony with the elements. Warning: This item may not really exist, nobody knows.
Patrick Greenbottle was once a normal halfling with a love of potions. Now he has been transformed into something much more.
Appearing a small ballista bolt, this ‘bolt’ is actually an arrow used by a god from a long-dead pantheon. Some sages theorize it was a weapon crafted by Loki to slay the world tree. Why it was never used escapes them however.
The spear has a divine-level anti-plant effect. When driven into the soil point first, a ever widening circle of destruction radiates out from the point, killing any plant material. Perfect for holding a kingdom’s food supply for ransom.
How far it extends depends of course on the GM, of course.